For many fathers carrying on the traditions that they saw modelled by their own dads is important when they have children of their own. That is something that LaShawn Cox realised when his son was born five years ago.
Excited at the prospect of the life-changing experience of fatherhood, Cox, who lives in St Patrick’s, Christ Church, made sure he was on hand for every moment of the pregnancy process with his former girlfriend.
“I was there during the doctor’s visits. I was in the Coast Guard and I told my captain that once I was in Barbados waters I never missed a doctor visit,” Cox told EASY. “During the pregnancy we had a lot of ultrasounds. From the time we knew that it was going to be a boy I was quite happy to be having a little mini me.
“I was also there for the birth of my son Dante, during the Caesarean section. I was the first person to hold him then I gave him to his mother then I cut the cord. I was there for his first bath, I took out the first clothes he wore. Before his mum came out of the operation, the midwife and I dressed him.”
That for Cox was the beginning of his journey into fatherhood where he would witness all the early milestones, the visual changes, and the growth spurts that transition babies to toddlers and beyond. As he watched his son grow and change, his determination to be a force in his son’s life became stronger.
“I wanted not only to be a father, but to be a wonderful father,” he said. “So far I’m mastering that. My own father was a strong presence in my life. He helped to instil confidence in me.”
Now that his five-year-old son is in primary school making sure that he is confident and full of self-esteem is important to Cox because of the forces that can pull children in the wrong direction.
“We always have a lot of in-depth conversations. My son would tell me out of the blue ‘Daddy I love you’,” he said. “To hear your son say that is very overwhelming. It makes you realise that you can’t live your life reckless.”
The young businessman who runs a catering company, says part of making sure that his son lives the right kind of life is instilling the right values into him from early.
“He knows right from wrong and I always tell him to be a leader, let others follow you,” Cox said. “As I was coming up, I was always a person that liked leading. So I would always tell him to be a leader. I also talk to about the importance of having a sound education.”
Though being a good student is key, for Cox, making sure that his son is mannerly and respectful is always at the top of his list.
“If it’s one thing I always stress is respect and manners and showing him the right way,” Cox said. “I always tell him it’s either the best or nothing. That’s a motto that I always had from my old primary school. I wouldn’t really chastise him for being a boy and doing things that most boys do, but when it comes to having manners and respect I would.”
Those are the traditions that Cox himself was raised with that he is now looking to pass on to his son. He and his son’s mother work together in raising him and making sure they both have a strong presence in Dante’s life.
“Though we’re not together we have a pretty cool relationship,” Cox said. “He has two wonderful parents and his mum does a fantastic job. She’s very attentive with his work, his education, and she’s a wonderful mother.”
Cox tries to ensure that he sees Dante on weekends so that they spend quality time together especially now during these crucial formative years.
“He has changed my life completely because now I have something to live for,” Cox said. “Before Dante came along I would say I wouldn’t love to bury my mum, but now I say my son has to bury me. I would love to see my son reach a man, and that’s something I ask the Lord for.”