Saturday, April 13, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Do men know what love means?


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Dear Christine,

I WOULD BE GRATEFUL if you allow me to share some of my thoughts on the subject of some men with our readers.

​Why are so many men of today’s societies becoming opportunists, immature and irresponsible? Is it because the women are accepting mediocre standards? Is it because they are giving themselves so cheaply to the men? Do they of themselves set high standards and believe that they are queens and not “wham-bam-thank-you-mams”?

Men, there are many of us women out there who try earnestly to keep our heads above the water and most likely would prefer to have a mature and responsible partner/husband who cares for us and vice versa. Are we asking too much of you?

Why then do you come around and flatter us with your expectations and promises, fondle us and leave us with additional burdens of a child or two, and then, as though that was not bad enough, because of reasons best known to yourselves, refuse of your own free will to help maintain that child or those children?

After all, we are human and have feelings. The last things we need are people like you who would only set out to mess up our lives. We are not perfect. When we make mistakes, forgive us the same as we forgive you when you arrive home after 3 a.m. and while undressing, we discover that your undies were being worn back to front.

Any woman who truly loves herself would become frustrated and resentful after having this treatment handed out to her at least two or three times. Some of you men do not know the true meaning of the word LOVE.

After you become tired of your “three course menu” with one person, you quickly move on to find another “customer”, and on you go like a rolling stone.

When you suddenly find that you are approaching a much older age group, you now feel it is time to “throw in the towel” and look for a “sincere” woman with whom you think you want to settle.

With all the bad treatment that is handed out to us innocent and fair-playing women, you men would be sure to find that because of your own species, we would have learnt to become devious, dishonest and destructive.

​– P.F.

Dear P.F.,

So much of what you say is sadly true but I am reminded of the fact that even when under pressure and these men cause women to fall head over heels in love with them, women still have to look after their vessels (their bodies).

They are still the ones who, in many if not all situations, determine just how far the man goes. Unless a woman is raped, she is the one who usually says “yes” to sexual intimacy by offering up her body.

Could it be therefore, that women can say no to sex, as easily as it may be for them to say no, let’s say, to drugs or to the desire to run in front of a bus? I do understand it is hard to say no to someone you truly love and have an emotional attachment to, but women must also take some level of responsibility and blame.

It is still true (again except in the case of rape) that a man can’t get no loving or be a father unless a woman lets him.

It is also true that too many men “love ’em and leave ’em” too casually and in the leaving there is so much heartbreak. It is so much worse when they leave without looking back at fathering the child or children they helped bring into the world.

I know there are fine, decent and responsible men but there are too many of the other kind who bring so much grief to their trusting and generous partners.

Since two wrongs cannot make a right and since women owe the best to themselves, they should maintain their integrity and not be brought to an unbecoming level by being devious, dishonest and destructive.

Curious, cautious and careful, yes! You should not have to lose your nicer self because of some dishonest person.



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