Dear Christine,
I am very attached to my boyfriend but he has told me not to love him 100 per cent, but I do.
I told him about something that happened to me once. It had to do with a guy I loved very much.
Because of this, my boyfriend told me something that hurt me very deeply. I could do nothing but sit in a corner and cry.
Since then, for the past two weeks, we have been quarrelling repeatedly. I have tried to tell him that my past is my past and that I only shared what I shared with him because I wanted him to know about some of the things I’ve been through with this other guy.
Now, I am not sure that I’ve done the right thing because he is always at me about what happened back then. Why are some people so uncaring?
I felt so badly that I just feel like giving up altogether.
What can I do?
– E.B.
Dear E.B.,
First, let me say you should have kept your mouth shut. I don’t know why some women always feel they have to make confessions to their current boyfriends about things that happened long before they ever met each other.
Whatever took place in your life years ago with a past lover was your business and concern, not his.
It would be a very strange happening to find a young man coming into your life with virgin purity, or one who would discuss all the past relationships he has had with other women. Yet, women just do not hold it against them. Why should any man hold something concerning a woman’s past against her?
Try to get over the hurt. In fact, if all he is contributing to the relationship (since you disclosed your business to him) is hurt and pain, ask yourself if the friendship is worth it. It shows he is not an understanding, caring or forgiving individual.
Don’t let him get you down. Strive to be happy – always! In addition, please realise that giving up cannot be an option when there are so many good people you’re yet to meet.
– CHRISTINE