I SPENT THE WEEKEND chaperoning a bunch of teenagers.
Many parents cringe at the very idea. Others smile and rejoice inwardly – maybe outwardly too – that it wasn’t them.
Some of us never miss a moment to ship them off for a couple of hours or more, just for a moment of sweet relief from engaging in exhausting back and forth on nothing of consequence.
On what would otherwise be a non-issue, a teenager can manage to take it to the point of a full blown national issue. From there it teeters on the brink of becoming an international incident with reminders that UNICEF has a children’s rights champion.
While parents are known to relent for the sake of peace on some matters, I’ve had parents tell me that just for the sake of prevailing in some things, they will say “shut up!”.
Sometimes to bring the argument to an end I will say “because I say so” or, when another child is used as a reference, I’ll say, “I’m not her (his) mother”.
Wayward behaviour
Someone said that teenagers are God’s way of punishing us for our own wayward behaviour.
Yes. Apparently God said to parents, create these people in your likeness, love them unconditionally, provide them with every essential thing, protect them and then watch as they ignore you except when they want something. See how you like that, says God.
Most times we don’t. But this is the way of the Almighty.
So for the weekend a bunch of teenaged friends gathered for a two-day celebration and I, caught up in the moment, heartily welcomed the idea of looking out for these young adults.
In a moment of madness I completely forgot that this was difficult teenagers squared.
So when I arrived on Friday night to take up my post, on her way out, my friend Mona, who had stood in for just a few hours with them, was already tired of the situation. Within moments of their arrival the room looked like it was hit by a small bomb. It was pointless saying “pick that up”. I tried.
Strict instructions
At the point of her landing, one young woman asked to borrow a simple item, a fingernail clip. I gave her strict instructions to let me have it back. In fact, I told her I didn’t want to give her because I feared that I wouldn’t get it back.
Her pleadings sounded so familiar. She promised to give it back and not to lose it.
Before the day passed the clip was missing and, of course, somebody had it but nobody did, and anybody could have had it but sadly for me nobody did.
A quick “sorry” was all I got. This is typically the lot of parents of teenagers in more serious situations – they believe a casual sorry should be enough.
The entire time I was like an old sergeant major. At every turn I was on patrol carrying out a head count. For some reason I find teenagers a mischievous lot who, if they sense they can get away with something, would do it and even if they can’t get away with it, would still attempt it.
This was the most sleepless weekend I ever had, including those when I suffered with bouts of illness.
Couldn’t sleep
I like to treat and look out for other people’s children as I would my own, frustrations and all. Everyone’s child is precious to them so I couldn’t sleep knowing I had charge of them all.
Their behaviour was what I expected but I really want to commend the parents.
They did not simply allow their children to pick up and leave home without being questioned. They inquired as to where they would be and their welfare while away from home.
This is the type of initial intervention from parents that protects society from delinquent young people.
Knowing where and what your children are up to helps to guide them along a positive path. And, even in a case where they stray, there is time to correct any missteps without permanent damage.