DEAR CHRISTINE, Until recently I have had a fairly good marriage with my husband who is four years younger than I am. I am 44.
We have two children who adore him. He also loves them very much. The blow came when he told me that he had met a woman who is eight years younger than he is. She lives in . . . . . where his work takes him.
Although he travels a lot on his job I never once felt such a thing would happen as he has always been a devoted husband and father.
Now, I am shocked beyond words. He has only known this woman for three months. During that time I never suspected anything was going on because he was just as loving with me and the children.
Now he tells me he wants to leave me. He has asked for the children’s sake that I do not make a fuss. He has also promised to look after us.
It seems to me that this woman is not prepared to share him with anyone, even his own family.
Christine, please give me some advice.
– L.E.W
Dear L.E.W,
Your husband’s relationship with this woman is new and if you let him go, once the novelty of the relationship has worn off, he may come back home.
There is also the possibility that you will not feel the same way about him when and if he does. You can only know this when the time comes.
Of course, there is the alternative of fighting for your husband.
Let him know that you think he is acting foolishly to throw away happy years of marriage and everything you’ve shared so far – including the children.
He may still leave, but there is at least a chance that your frankness will sway him from the course he seems bent on taking.
I wish I knew a sure way for dealing with your personal crisis, but I don’t. In other words there is no real formula. You must simply brace yourself for whatever way it all works out.
I can only hope that he’ll change his mind about giving up all that he has cared for in the past, including life with you and the children.
– CHRISTINE
