Sunday, April 14, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Outside man pulling away

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Dear Christine,

I AM BURDENED with grief and shame.

You see, I am married and although my husband is not the best, he’s not a bad man. He likes going out with the boys and he’s had a couple of girls running after him but he’s always home. We lack nothing.

Anyhow, out of my loneliness I got involved with another man who is married and also has a family. We knew from the start that our relationship could not be anything more than physical as we did not want to become too involved so that our partners would know about it and be hurt.

Recently he seems to be cooling off. He does not keep the appointments we make and he does not telephone the number of times he used to. There is always some excuse but though he says nothing is wrong, I feel for him it is the end.

I am trying hard to forget him but finding it very difficult. What should I do?

– N.W.

Dear N.W.,

You know exactly what you need to do. You went into this relationship with your eyes wide open. I think you know quite well also that someday the relationship would come to an end. So right now you need to try harder and put your infidelity behind you.  

Most women get emotionally involved when it comes to relationships. So while it may seem like a physical relationship, you are also emotionally involved with this man.

If it’s more of your husband’s company you need, why not let him know? I believe he cares enough to spend some of the time he spends with the boys with you. Communicate with him.

Sometimes it’s possible that couples grow apart because they merely talk to or with each other, but fail to communicate. I am sure when you start to communicate with your husband, you’ll realise that he is there for you and that you won’t need to look outside of your marriage for happiness or intimacy of any sort.

– CHRISTINE

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