Tuesday, April 16, 2024

PUDDING AND SOUSE: Hitting close to home


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One of the most popular television series of recent times features Preachers of  L.A. and Preachers of Detroit. Well, plans are being considered for Preachers of Bim.

The lead role will be played by a sweet mouth black-conscious  evangelical. Known for his  flashy lifestyle, which includes sporting expensive vehicles, travelling to exotic places for cruises and other vacations and promoting the virtues of prosperity, this man has had to deal with some harsh realities recently.

It seems as if a misfortune has befallen an offspring, which has brought sadness to the hearts of all that have heard. It is a most unfortunate situation and nothing anyone would like for themselves, their friends, or even their foes.

However, this Preacher of Bim has not only cursed the devil for infiltrating the household of the Lord’s anointed people, but he has cast the afflicted one out. He seems not to recognise the situation calls for empathy, understanding, faith, love and counselling.

An extended vacation at the Green Gates Hotel is not the solution for those who are travelling rocky roads. After all, money can do wonders. So even if a respite in St John was not considered good enough or the preferred location for this occasion, then as a preacher who understands prosperity and with the necessary contacts, help could be accessed in North America.

Very few guests are given full-time residence at the Green Gates Hotel and therefore the Preacher of Bim and his elegant wife, the First Lady, will have to reunite with anyone who may have had a misfortune.

The congregation is waiting to hear the full details tomorrow, and not just a tongue-lashing for the nosey people who sit in the pews and bring out the news.

A weakness for freeness:

His father before him was a character – known for his eccentric behaviour like going out to the postman with only a frying pan in front of him.

But he was also known for his ridiculous eating habits. He was known to attend functions and walk away with anything; a doggie bag was always too small for him.

 Well, as the saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Whether you wear sandals, have two beer bellies or think of yourself as the best Bajan to report the news, the talk of the town this week was about the noise the son made all because there was no food for him and others who went to do a job.

The idea of no free meal clearly does not apply to this fellow, whom some people call “The Hot Sause Man” because he apparently walks with his condiments ready to flavour any meal he hunts out.

 Some of his colleagues have suggested that he go on a diet, stop demanding the snacks and Coca-cola and the heavy meals and instead focus on the job at hand.

Strong and wrong:

A high and mighty man was adamant that every one, from the red-skinned woman to the man always quoting and misquoting the Bible, to the grass cutter, were all wrong.

He saw them as worse than Gobbels for trying to destroy the legacy which has kept things up and on for so many years. After all, he is in charge and he knows not only what’s best, but he knows it all.

And to think some malcontents joined the noisemakers and were for some time talking foolishness and trying to pollute the atmosphere from the ridges in St George which give off such clean, fresh air sending foul smells right through Waterford Bottom and beyond.

But lo and behold, things got exposed. It seems as if the woman who likes to be in red, and the politician cum preacher cum an acolyte of Saint Peter and even the grass cutter were right on target. Some people feel the grass cutter deserves a job with the environmental protection agencies and are waiting to see who will speak up on his behalf. Hopefully, he would not have to wait for any tribunal.

It also seems as if star girl Rihanna will have to bring rapper friend Eminem to Bim to do a special performance of their hit Love The Way You Lie. The only problem would be the venue; King Saul is considering somewhere in the Pine or Belleville, but not at the Stadium in Waterford which is now closed.

Govt’s eager beaver:

That call by Covernment for workers to be highly productive is reportedly being met by at least one very eager public sector employee.

Workers, who for whatever reason must be in their offices late on evenings at a Government office in Warrens, say it is unbelievable how a man who worked all day is ready and able to start another shift in the same job and same office after 7 p.m. And if possible he wants to work until daybreak every day. The man, who is hoping to get promoted to a big post, does not like to go home, and wants to prove he can do the job.

His colleagues say this officer, who was once banished by some of his supervisors as being hard-headed, only needs now to bring a change of clothing, toothpaste and a comb to the job. Colleagues say this short man with unpopular Christian and surnames must understand he cannot get past either the woodpecker nor the soft-voiced acting field marshal in charge of the entire occupation army.


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