WHEN IS THE LAST TIME you had a real good run? And I ain’t talking ’bout a li’l run for exercise, or a run to catch a bus. I talking ’bout a real good run like if you was in a horror movie and a monster was running you to eat you.
Well, I ain’t had one of them kinda runs in years, till a dog run me a few days ago. And trust me: you aint gine get no better run in your life than a dog run.
This is how it happen. The piece o’ old car I got does overheat, so I does keep a gallon bottle of water in the car for emergency. However, the other day I was driving and stop to put in some water and realize the bottle was empty.
So I start walking looking for someplace that I could stop and beg for some water, and as luck would have it I see a house with a pipe outside. I knock and I ain’t hear nobody, so I say I gine help myself to li’l water.
Just when I was about to turn on the pipe, I hear something bark. Well, if you know me you would know that I frighten for dogs. So I stop what I was doing and looked in the direction from where I heard the bark.
Sudden so I see this big-able thing like a lion get up from under a tree and stretch. It look at me, I look back at he. By this time now I ain’t want no more water cause I looking to clear out.
The dog let go one hard bark, and I ain’t tell no lie: he open his mouth so wide I couldda see he tonsils. The dog bark again and then start to sprint in my direction. And that is when I turn around and start to run.
Now at my age I ain’t accustomed to running and certainly not running so fast. My poor li’l heart felt like it was coming up through my mouth, the shoes felt heavy like I was wearing concrete blocks and it was then I realise how big my belly was, cause I couldda feel it bouncing up and down.
To be honest, it felt like I had run a mile but when I check back it was only ’bout ten yards. Meanwhile, I running hard, and across the road a lady shouted at me, “Don’t run – he aint gine do you nothing; he does just wanta play!”
Now I ain’t so sure if she and the dog had a conversation before I got there, but obviously they did not involve me, because clearly I was not aware that the dog was expecting me to stop and play with him. Plus I ain’t see no toys and that bark sounded more like, “I gine eat yuh!”
Anyhow, bathed in sweat and panting like a racehorse, I managed to get back in the car, all the time hearing the lady in the background laughing and telling me that the dog is a play dog and I shouldn’t run, ’cause he don’t do nobody nothing.
I caught my breath and drove off. Five minutes later the car overheated again and it was then that I realised that in my haste to get away from the dog I had dropped the gallon bottle by the pipe. And you know I wasn’t gine back for that. See ya.
E-mail: madderic@hotmail.com Twitter@madderic