I AM 36 YEARS OLD and a mother of three children, one of whom is a soon to be teenager. We live a reasonably good life, apart from the fact that my husband, who is 45 years old, drinks at home almost every night.
I absolutely see nothing wrong with him drinking socially with friends, or even having an occasional beer, but his love for as many as six beers a day, plus other alcoholic beverages, is causing me a measure of concern.
We have been married for ten years and although I knew he always loved a glass of wine with his meals, I am afraid this has now escalated to the extent that not one day goes by without him drinking some type of alcoholic beverage.
I have asked him about the pressures of his work but he claimed that work is fine. I have also asked him to see a doctor but he won’t even see one when he is sick or for a casual check-up.
To say that I am worried is an understatement. I just wish he would have a physical examination to put my mind at ease about his health. I cannot say that he has lost any weight or gained any excess weight during the past few years, but I am concerned.
I have told him to take care of his health as I want to spend many years with him and I want him to be around when the children are older. We argued about this over and over again and he seemed satisfied in knowing that he only drinks at home and not at a rum shop with “the boys”.
This is no consolation to me.
What I am seeing is a selfish, arrogant man who needs to think about what his drinking can do to his life and his family.
What can you suggest to help?
– PAM
Dear PAM,
I honestly believe you should seek advice from Alcoholics Anonymous. Experts there will be able to put you on the right path. The arguing will not help, so avoid this type of behaviour.
From my perspective, your husband is an alcoholic but the only one who can stop him from drinking or at least bring him to the realisation that he needs help, is he himself.
He may not want to see a doctor because he knows what the doctor will tell him. It is important that you understand you cannot control another person’s behaviour, so stop trying to control his.
Make that call and follow the advice given to you.
– CHRISTINE
