TODAY MARKS the first day of National Youth Week. When events such as these are executed, life flashes before our eyes and we immediately become quite pensive. Some of us wonder whether our walk thus far in life was the best it could have been and scrutinise our mistakes and experiences.
There are many lessons that I have learnt in my twenties.
Being an only child for such a long time (until God blessed me with a little brother and sister), I often wished I had an older sibling to explain to me the roller coaster ride I was going to have as a twenty-something.
Fresh out of university, thrown into the workforce, I quickly got accustomed to bills and the general expectations that mistakes and actions will no longer be considered as “cute”.
I have compiled some advice for my fellow Barbadian youth on what I have learnt in my twenties. Some of you may shake your head in disagreement, cringe at the advice or thank God that someone decided to write these words so you would not make the same mistakes I did.
Take risks
I would advise anyone to embrace the concept of taking positive risks. Whatever occurs, you should emerge a better person on several levels. These are character-builders.
Life will throw tomatoes at you a few times. Always try to take the tomatoes and make the best possible Bloody Mary when this happens. Life is too short to sit back and “woulda, shoulda, coulda”.
People always respect doers. Nothing is worse than someone who has great ideas but never attempts to bring them to fruition.
Nobody has it “all together”
Remember the girl who got all As in secondary school, was teacher’s pet and wore a Mary Poppins inspired chignon? She does not have it “all together”. It is a dangerous thing to watch other people. In this era, the temptation is even greater.
Beating up on yourself about not finishing a degree or making the “wrong” life choices makes no sense. Everything happens for a reason. I have had applications “lost” and thought the world was ending – dramatic, panic attack and all. You know what, everything happens in its own time and for its own reason.
All of us are butterflies, we just leave the cocoon at different times. It is all about perspective. My greatest “egg-on-face” experiences have actually been the best things that have happened.
The grass is not greener
Appreciate your unique qualities. Other grasses may have fancy supersonic sprinklers or even a great looking gardener who comes twice a week with a weed whacker. However, if your grass simply has your 60-year-old father mowing it once a month, that is YOUR grass.
Own it! There will always be areas in which you can improve. With faith and hard work, you will improve those areas. Hone your unique skills and qualities and make those things work for you. On another note, where there are new levels, there are new devils.
For the ladies: These boys aint going nowhere . . . but when they do . . .
Many young women I know are hyper-ventilating because we are approaching 30 and there is no sight or possibility of an engagement ring or someone to buy it. This is my take on love: you cannot force it. These boys are going nowhere.
Boys or men will always make time for women they love and genuinely care about. My advice to all young women is never settle and never lower your standards.
Friends will come. Friends will go. Keep moving!
I have learnt a lot about friends – especially in the last three years. There is a saying, “If you have lost a friend, he or she was never a friend in the first place”. Sure, people are not perfect but friendships also require compromise.
If you and a friend cannot move beyond an issue, the friendship was not as strong as you may have thought. I have found that it is better to be alone than in a room filled with people whom you cannot trust.
Don’t turn your back on your real friends. However, if they turn their backs on you, keep moving. You have to be your best friend first. That is the key.
Look your best
My great-grandmother always said that you must always ensure you are in a presentable manner, even when you are going to bed because you do not know when “yuh may tek in at night”. I try to live by this. If you feel your best, you look your best.
Believe . . . in something!
It is extremely important that we as humans believe in something. It is not my place to tell you which religion you should practice or which moral standards you should adhere to. Life is about constant self-discovery and aiming for self-actualisation.
One of my closest friends is an atheist and although we have different belief systems, I continue to hold the view that he is one of the best and kindest human beings I have ever met.
Toni Thorne is a young entrepreneur and World Economic Forum Global Shaper who loves global youth culture, a great debate and living in paradise. Email [email protected].
