Tuesday, April 16, 2024

PUDDING & SOUSE: Pimping now part of the job

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JUST WHEN STAFF thought it could get no worse, Young Hitler has struck again. This time he has instructed the guards to pimp on the staff and report back to him every week on who is not pulling their weight.

They must say which employee is slacking and which cashier has too long a line and causing a backup, hence causing him to lose money. Money which he does not share with his staff. This, along with their usual duties of fending off people who come in to curse about the lack of staff on the floor to serve orders, causing an inordinately long wait for food.

Rather than hiring more staff, Young Hitler is cutting hours and increasing pressure.

Guards, who never signed off on this pimping job when they joined the company, want no part of it, so Young Hitler has said unless those weekly reports come in they will be sent home. This instruction, P&S has been told, comes against the backdrop of a union which is in deep slumber and union reps who have no clue where to turn or what to do. This is the naked truth, staff swear, and they feel they are no more than robots under this die-hard dictator.

But, alas, they say the turkey or ham won’t do this time around. So he can keep them and pay them what they rightfully deserve, which is a full complement of hours per week. Stay tuned, it’s getting hotter in the kitchen.

Verbal earthquake rattles

His verbal onslaught was so intense that it could easily have ruptured sutures inserted by the best doctor.

He was livid. He argued that the institution’s purse was so porous that it could ill-afford any more financial setbacks.

He would know, he is a medical maguffy. His tirade was short, but acid. It was loud, but pointed. Some, P&S has been told, quivered in their boots.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars and counting, are outstanding to the institution by people who have not paid the full amount, but he has its interest at heart. During his onslaught he threatened to quit and said he wanted his keys from the big bunch since he did not need to stand for this level of incompetence. His boss was urgently summoned, and, being a large man, hurried slowly over, huffing and puffing, and told him there was no need to be so impatient and disrespectful; after all he is a Harrisonian.

But he would have none of it. It was a sight to behold. And, after this outburst, he is now demanding an apology.

Down for the count

He has come from a sporting family, yet a young non-national feline has floored him once again with a beamer. It’s not the first beamer she has bowled him, and some believe that by now he should at least be able to fend them off or at least duck.

At the recent funeral of his father she was not present. She made it clear that she was not going, since she was no longer a part of the family.

this evil woman has run away almost all of his customers from the small shop. Yet, he continues to pursue her.

Now that her mother has died, residents said that he was one of the first people at the funeral. He arranged everything and even signed off on the post-burial proceedings.

She has moved out of his house and has moved into one not far away, compliments of her new man. But this City shopkeeper still can’t get his act together and keep a safe distance from her. He is down for the count.

From politics to business

They call her a politician’s stress reliever. Anything with the letters MP causes her to become restless and brings about a sudden urge to want to lie down.

She lives through a road traversed by many a politician, tall and slim and bald and thick. And she has no intention of being left out of the fray.

Her latest interest is in a business  venture, but P&S has been told that she is into big business. She can be seen sitting with a well dressed disgruntled looking man, and bragging about her new home.

Some say, though still young, she has not yet fulfilled her dream of becoming a political aide, though others argue that that’s exactly what she is now.

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