DEAR CHRISTINE: Recently my boyfriend of four years has gone to a strip bar (twice in a month).
He knows how I feel about it (of course I disapprove of it).
How do I deal with this without becoming hateful and angry?
– CONCERNED
Dear Concerned
Do you know his motivation? If he went because his friends were all going and he didn’t want to be left out or called a wimp, that would be different from if he went by himself to sip a beer all night and watch the women strip.
Should the reason matter to your reaction? In the end, that’s up to you, but I think it’s a factor.
You may believe gossiping is wrong, but if you’re at a party where all your friends are trading gossip, would you walk out? You probably would think it best to stay quiet and not to engage in the gossip.
Each of us has different standards, and that’s fine if you want to live up to very high standards that you expect your boyfriend to live up to as well.
In that case, it might be time to look for someone else, especially if there are many other ways in which he disappoints you.
Only you can decide, and, as I said, you have to examine the bigger picture of his motivation.
– CHRISTINE
