THERE IS THAT OLD SAYING that what you don’t know won’t hurt. It is very true. I tell this story not only to bear out that fact, but to prove that my grandmother was right when she told me many years ago: Waste not, want not. I followed her wise counsel and found that it has worked to my advantage.
I celebrated a milestone with my wife late last year. We would have been married for a number of years. I have come to adore her over the years, having started out from perhaps simple infatuation. But time has been a great redeemer in our love affair and has worked to the benefit of both of us.
As a boy growing up I lived with my grandmother as my mother and father had moved overseas to pursue their own dreams. My father was in England while my mother went to Canada. They both sent a little something for me, and I should say infrequently, as I supposed they struggled to make ends meet in their new homeland. They both established new families in their adopted homeland and so I became more and more a distant memory.
My grandmother struggled with my sister and me. She had did not earn much, and there was no guarantee that her job would be there week after week or month after month throughout the year. So she talked to us and guided us in being frugal. We learnt how to turn around things, from hand-me-down clothing and shoes to household furniture. We did not waste things, not even food.
I remember when a politician came seeking the votes in our household, my sister and I had recently attained the voting age, and my grandmother made it clear the votes would be available if jobs were forthcoming. I had just a few certificates, but enough that I got a job in the public sector; my sister was equally successful in securing a job working at a hospital.
The politician got our votes, his party retained office and he his prestige. For our part, everyone in the house was working and my grandmother was happy.
The one thing that old lady talked about and taught us was that from the very first pay cheque a percentage had to be put aside. So off we went a few days after payday to deposit the meagre sum. She warned us to ignore those who would laugh and poke fun, but said one day the little bit we set aside would all be for our good.
Well, I subsequently met a girl whom I liked and as part of my reaching out to her and showing how much I cared, I bought her a ring from one of the then leading jewellery establishments. I could not pay for it at once so I obtained hire purchase. She loved the ring; and I followed up with a bracelet and a chain on other occasions. Things went well between us for a while until my eyes caught sight of another young woman who was to eventually become my wife.
The relationship with the first young lady soon went sour and in her anger she came and threw the ring, bracelet and chain back at me while I was at home and marched off. My grandmother witnessed the incident and immediately sat me down and told me to put them aside carefully as they would come in handy in the future. In fact, she offered to keep them for me and I readily handed them over.
The relationship with the new girl blossomed and my concerns and uncertainty soon disappeared. I was happy and within two years we made plans to tie the knot. She felt I should give her an engagement ring, but I did not want to take up money planning for the wedding to buy a ring. In addition, I had to make plans to find someplace to live as my grandmother made it clear her house was too small for another permanent resident, in addition to which she was queen in her mansion and a new queen would not be welcomed. I told her of my sweetheart’s desire for an engagement ring.
She said there was nothing wrong with that but to let her know of the financial circumstances and instead offer her a friendship ring with sentimental family value. I did not really understand but told my future bride exactly what my grandmother suggested. She agreed.
At that time there was a popular jewellery store on Swan Street and my grandmother told me to take my sweetheart there and ask for a certain gentleman. I did and the man met us with a smile and said he had the prefect ring and hoped it would fit. Well, it was like hand in glove. My mouth fell open, because I saw a familiarity with the piece of gold.
My sweetheart was delighted and proudly showed off the ring on her right hand. My curiosity told me to ask my grandmother a question about where she got the ring. She quickly reminded me that she always said not to waste things. She then relayed the story of taking the item to the jeweller and having him cleaned it up and add a small birthstone to it. That was the ring she had been keeping for me. I could only smile to myself with sheer delight.
Three days before the wedding my grandmother told me to go back to the same jewellery establishment and check on some other items. I again did as I was told and immediately recognised the bracelet and the chain, both very well cleaned and seemingly polished, as they sparkled. I told my grandmother I liked them; and her simple response was, “Give them as part of your wedding give.”
That same evening I gave my wife-to-be the two items and again she was absolutely delighted. She would wear them on our wedding day as she does to this very day. This was certainly a situation of waste not, want not and I had been frugal.
Two years ago, I had the heart to tell my wife the story of the origin of the items. She simply laughed and said, “Well, they’re all mine.”
