DEAR CHRISTING: Parents against child piercings


Dear Christine:

MY DAUGHTER was what I would otherwise call a “model child” until she suddenly made the decision to pierce her tongue, without my knowledge.

Both my husband and I have always marvelled at her intellectual skills, bravery, kindness and educational strides.

She attends college overseas but returns home every holiday period – three times a year to spend special seasons – Easter, summer and Christmas with us. She is 19 years old.

When she is at home, she spends an adequate amount of her time with former school friends and attends a few socials on the given occasion.

From what I have seen, she has always maintained good grades and works part time. This takes some of the financial burden off our shoulders.

Having said all that, she refuses to listen to us when we speak to her about the types of friends she should choose. We have visited her dorm on two occasions and her friends just seemed so opposite to her, with earrings in all the wrong places and tattoos painted across their bodies.

Well, as I earlier indicated, she now has her tongue pierced. Christine, I am not an old mother hen, who does not understand what a pierced tongue implies. I am 41 years old. My daughter is aware of our moral values and how we raised her from a child. She thinks that it is cool to have her tongue pierced and that she is old enough to do so. She has also reminded me that she works to help look after herself and that she loves me and her dad.

Her question is: “What’s the big deal?”

Both my husband and I think that she should remove the “stud” from her lips, as it looks cheap, stupid and impedes her speech. I cannot imagine how she is able to hold down a job with her tongue pierced. We think this move could affect her chances of getting a decent job when she leaves college later this year.

Are we taking this too seriously?


Dear Lynn,

I know you are concerned but there is really little you can do to get your daughter to change her mind. She is old enough to make her own choices. The mere fact that she does not live at home (except for when she visits), puts her in a vulnerable position and you in a position where you cannot usurp authority over her.

She seems to be a model child, apart from the tongue piercing which some teenagers do, then cease from doing.

Concentrate right now on your daughter’s positives. I am sure someday she will see things from your perspective.



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