DEAR CHRISTINE, I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED why some people who seek your advice can’t open their eyes and simply see the solution to their problem right in front of them.
That was until I found myself in a situation where I now need answers to a problem that I can’t seem to solve.
Christine, I recently went to a farewell party for a fellow employee and started talking to someone who was a comparative stranger to our group. She was visiting a member of our staff who asked that she be included. She was.
She and I hit it off very well and, after the official staff party, we went out together. After we parked things started to happen, and before you know it, we became intimate. To some extent I can try to excuse myself – I had in a lot of drink to the point I can confess I was drunk.
Since then, I have been struggling with my conscience. My girlfriend and I have always promised to be honest with each other. But now I feel as if I’ve betrayed that trust, even though I know I will never do it again.
Should I tell her what happened in the hope that she will forgive me, or should I deal with it on my own and learn to live with the guilt?
This thing is eating me up and I earnestly need some help.
– GUILTY
Dear Guilty,
I suspect there are a number of people reading this who not only sympathise with your situation, but have perhaps been there themselves. And while some of them probably suggest coming clean to your girlfriend, I am not sure that this might be the best way.
You are obviously saddened and “eaten up” by what you have done, and no doubt your girlfriend would be too if she knew what really happened. Surely that alone has to be the best reason not to confess – particularly as you sound genuinely full of remorse.
I would also say that if your moment of madness also included a failure to practise safe sex, then get yourself checked out before potentially inflicting something far worse on your girlfriend than an admission of drunken lunacy.
– CHRISTINE