TWO DAYS AGO, I had a long discussion with a group of young Vincentian women about the ways in which we work against each other.
The women poured out their feelings unapologetically on camera. One of them even broke down in tears when speaking about a recent experience she had.
To recount the many issues and points raised would take the entire pages of this newspaper.
Today, I would like to address the very bad habit quite a few of us women seem to inherit as we get older.
I know a young woman who recently started at a well known establishment. One of her first projects, she executed very well and, of course, her bosses quite rightfully took the opportunity to show off their new employee. One of the young woman’s predecessors was in the crowd and decided to personally attack the young woman.
Instead of being critical about the project, the predecessor ranted to anyone about the length of the young woman’s shorts and went on what appeared to be bitter tirade.
This past week, a former supermodel blasted younger models like Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner telling them that they should take their place and acknowledge that they are not and will never be supermodels. Why do we women always have to make everything a competition? Why must we always resort to being catty? Finally, why do quite a few of us form our alliances based on a common enemy (another woman) as opposed to common positive interests?
Recently, Martha Stewart blasted Gwyneth Paltrow and her venture GOOP which is very similar to Martha’s platform. Martha stated that Gwyneth ought to stick to acting and stay in her lane.
From my experience, many women talk a good game about mentoring other women and “leaning in”. However, when it is time for action, very little is done.
When I started my television show, I excitedly asked a veteran in the field for her advice. I knew the pilot was a work in progress and explained that but I was so excited to hear her feedback-even if she said it stunk worse than a skunk.
Her response after I asked what she thought about it? She curtly said: “It is . . . ”. I never found out what “It is” meant but my mindset has changed since then.
Perhaps we need to stop looking for approval from other women and start with ourselves. It begins with that. We can only control ourselves. We cannot lament over cocktails about the harsh treatments we receive from women who we often look up to. Many of us women are still feeding ourselves a lie that in order to get ahead we have to be nasty toward each other. Many 40-year-old women have not changed from high school and the mean girl antics permeate a lot of us females.
As I stated earlier, changed behaviour starts within. To the 21- year-old female who is reading this and thinking: “Well, this does not refer to me because I am too young to mentor anyone or contribute to this fight.” I say to you it can start with simple actions such as not screenshotting your peers and bashing them in Whatsapp groups. It can start with the support of more female businesses without letting the green monster tell us to do otherwise. It starts within. Do not be bitter.
Toni Thorne is a young entrepreneur and World Economic Forum Global Shaper who loves global youth culture, a great debate and living in paradise. Email: [email protected]
