DEAR CHRISTINE: I HAVE A PROBLEM which I’d like you to share with you. Perhaps you can help.
This is 19 years that I have been married. I am now 42 years old. As the years go by, I have been finding it more difficult to allow my husband to see my body. When we make love, it is usually in the dark. I do not open the curtains until we are through and I always keep a large towel nearby to wrap around my body.
My husband thinks that I am making a mountain out of a molehill. He quarrels with me whenever I do this and he is livid about my decision not to show him my naked body. How can I solve this?
My husband is 48 years old and has a natural athletic-looking body. He says he cannot put up with this stupid habit of mine forever. I consider myself fat, but he says I am just paranoid. In fact, he says he loves me the way I am. Do you think I am making a mountain out of a molehill?
-JENN
Dear Jenn, Yes, I do. What you are experiencing is nothing new. I know of some similar cases where some wives do the same and would only allow their husbands the opportunity to make love to them at night.
The thing is to be confident and to love yourself and your body. From what you’ve told me, your husband has tried to explain that he loves you for what and who you are. There is nothing else he can do.
You are the one who must stop covering up your body, which once you are married, is not really yours any more, but your husband’s as well.
If you want your marriage to be truly a happy, complete one, then you must allow your husband total access to your body. If you think you need to lose some pounds or that your body needs toning, you can do some walking, change your diet if you need to and possibly, take out membership in a gym.
Meanwhile, remove the towel and stop closing the curtains. He has already given you the assurance that be loves you “just as you are”.
– CHRISTINE
