DEAR CHRISTINE, I have been married for three years now and my husband has started expressing the wish to have a child. This is very upsetting as I made it quite clear before we were married that I never wanted any children. He did say then he felt he would change my mind.
Now I am getting pressure from his sisters and a few of our friends to have a baby. But Christine, when I see other people’s babies, I still have no longing for one.
My husband is not among those who are pressuring me, but I know by what he says from time to time and the fuss he makes over other people’s children, he would enjoy having one.
Christine, am I being unnatural by not having any feelings about babies?
– B.G.
Dear B.G.,
There is nothing unnatural about not wanting a child, but when a wife and husband disagree on something important, there may be trouble. Your husband’s wish for a baby may never be strong enough to cause disagreement between you two.
On the other hand, you may in time wish for one yourself. Remember, you may love one’s own baby dearly without finding babies in general very appealing. The fact that you have no longing for one when you see others with theirs does not necessarily mean you would not feel a great deal for your own.
Get rid of the family pressure by telling them that you don’t think it is time to start a family, but I am hoping you will do some serious thinking if your husband would like a child. Babies have a wonderful way of winning you over once they are yours.
– CHRISTINE