Dear Christine,
I HOPE you are well. I would first like to congratulate you on the good work you are doing. Keep it up.
My problem is that I am in love with two young men. A and I were friends for eight years and there is a child in the middle. We don’t get along as well as we did in the past.
His parents do not like me and my parents do not like him. They think that he is not good enough for me. He supports the child and gives me things, but sometimes it takes a noise to get them.
I still care about him and I know he loves me because he keeps telling me so. I also know he does not have another woman.
My next problem is B and you’ll see why I say the child is in the middle.
It is because B can also be the father of the child, and I love him more than I love A. He has never denied the child is his. He and I were friends for two years and he also gives me anything I ask him for, but we don’t spend a lot of time together. He says he loves me but it is not as much as I love him.
Don’t trust him
He and his girlfriend have broken up and he says I am the only one he is seeing right now, but I know he is seeing someone else because he goes out at night and comes in all hours of the morning.
Please tell me which of these guys is the right one for me.
– T.L.
Dear T.L.,
It is impossible for me to tell you which is these guys is the right one for you. You are closer to them and you ought to know which one you truly care about. I think you are weighing their merit in “material things”.
All of us need the material things of life but what about loyalty and commitment? You fail to score a perfect 100 in both cases.
Here you are with a child and uncertain about the father. This means you have been unfaithful to A. You are also having a kind of baby barter, letting them both believe they could be the father. I don’t think such precarious living can bring you much peace of mind or true happiness. I suggest you search your heart as to whom you really care for and devote yourself to making the relationship a happy one.
As regards the likes and dislikes of your parents and his, that can be ignored if you seek each other’s happiness. How come A is not good enough for you now? Hasn’t he been supporting the child he believes is his, as well as it might be?
You are a whole question mark. That being the case, you must try and find an answer based on honesty.
– CHRISTINE
