DEAR CHRISTINE, My best friend was hospitalised for two weeks, and during the early part, her husband used to carry me in his car to see her. There was no point, he said, in using two cars.
She wasn’t in the hospital for two days when he started making passes at me by putting his hand on my knee and squeezing it. I told him not to do that and he laughed and said: “What’s wrong? I ain’t doing nothing.”
I thought that had been the end of it. The next afternoon he got into a conversation about how much he’d always admired me and he could easily fall in love with me. Again I tried to steer the conversation from where it was heading.
Two days later while returning home, after some more of his nonsense talk, he pulled over in a gap and tried to be intimate with me. I was very angry and asked him what he thought I was.
He was also angry and, knowing I had a boyfriend I used to live with, he said I was not the person I was pretending to be. He said I was easy because I once lived with my former boyfriend.
I tried to get out of the car but he calmed down and drove me home. Since then, I make excuses about going every afternoon to the hospital and when I did go, I went in my own car.
When I met him there, he was quite nice to me but I am angry with him even though I cannot show it in front of my best friend.
I feel so ashamed at being taken by him as an easy person. I can no longer feel at ease with both of them. I hate him now and really feel sorry for her.
What do you suggest I do? I really do not want to lose my friend.
– H.Y.
Dear H.Y.,
I don’t see why you would have to lose her. The incidents changed your view about her husband, but not her. She is still the same friend and you certainly have proved yourself to be a loyal friend.
Husbands who stray are not such rare creatures and don’t merit so much attention to wipe out the relationship with your best friend. You have already handled the situation well by travelling in your own car.
Avoid being alone with him and even if he thought you were easy, he knows now that you are not.
He’s not likely to do or say anything to spoil your friendship as it would get him into real trouble.
– CHRISTINE