DEAR CHRISTINE, I HAVE AN UNUSUAL case I’d like to discuss with you. I am in love with a woman who seems to have a relationship of some sort with her ex-boyfriend.
When he is not calling her, he is inviting himself over to play with the dog which both of them purchased together, or just to hang out with my girlfriend. I questioned her about this relationship and she said they are just friends and that he pays half of the mortgage.
She is planning a trip to another Caribbean island to attend a wedding and she has invited him over me, as she says he knows the couple well and they were all friends.
The thing is, when I question her about sleeping over at her place she always gives me some lame excuse.
What am I supposed to gather from this relationship between the two of them? Mind you, he has slept at her home quite a few times and she says he never goes into her bedroom or the guest bedroom. He always sleeps on the couch.
Can you offer me any advice Dear Christine?
– T.R.
Dear T.R.,
You need to have a serious talk with your “girlfriend” about these arrangements with her ex. It is true that two people can be close friends even after a break- up, but this present situation is really taking things to the extreme.
You should tell her you need an exclusive relationship with her and to do so there must be some changes as far as her ex is concerned. To have that kind of relationship, he would have to stop sleeping on the couch and give up the key.
If he pays part of the mortgage, he would rightly consider the place partly his. However, if they truly have broken up, she should extract herself from this arrangement.
As far as the overseas trip is concerned, you need to really find out if your girlfriend and this guy are more than friends.
If you are to have an exclusive relationship with her, then you are the one who should be accompanying her on that trip.
If he goes then you should consider whether or not you are truly this girl’s “current” boyfriend. Right now the odds seem to be against you.
– CHRISTINE
