DEAR CHRISTINE, I am writing to you not only to get advice but to express my situation. Thanks for the opportunity.
I courted my husband for ten years before we got married. During that period, there were never any quarrels regarding his relationships with girlfriends because I felt they never existed.
He, however, was always a very jealous man and so he accused me of fellows who never existed. It upset me to think that here I am being honest and this is the way he feels about me.
My husband is ten years older than I am. He is a mechanic and does not earn much. You can imagine my amazement to learn after six months of marriage that this man knocks around every young girl in the district.
He is now always on the road but never invites me or our two children anywhere. When he is leaving home, he slams the door. He says nothing to us. I was not brought up like that and I find it very hard to accept his attitude. It now seems we have nothing in common.
It is a shame that it has taken 12 years for me to see that we are misfits. I still care for him and would like to heal our sick relationship. We don’t seem to be able to trust each other and there is never any expression of love shown.
From this relationship I have learned that when looking for a partner, you should get someone around your own age and who has a similar social background and similar education.
I am a Christian-minded woman and feel very let down. I pray and read my Bible a lot and I know that some day God will work out this problem for me.
– G.H.
Dear G.H.,
Cling to your faith in God and it will see you through. However, in the meantime, why not try to show your husband some affection?
I am perhaps asking you to clutch at a straw, but if he responds kindly, tell him how hurt you are over what is happening. Let him know you still love him.
If he rejects your efforts, then you’ll just have to accept the fact that all that is worthwhile in your marriage is over.
– CHRISTINE