Dear Christine,
FIRST OF ALL, thank you for the advice you are giving.
Christine, I have a problem. I have been in love with a man for four years. He is my first and only love. I met him when I was 18 years old and things were going very good. He’d call me on the phone every night and then come and see me every night also. That was until one day he got himself a car.
For a while things continued to go all right, but then the phone calls got short and his visits were not as before. They, too, became fewer and fewer. Then he got his own home which he took me to sometimes and gave me what I wanted.
Christine, he has never told me he loves me or that we are finished. He has not done me anything wrong, yet he is always looking annoyed and sad. Do you think that I am not showing him enough love? or is it that he does not love me? Should I forget about this man or give him more time?
– H.L.
Dear H.L.,
When a love affair starts, everything is hot, hot, hot. Endless hours are spent on the telephone and couples don’t seem to be able to get enough of each other’s company.
Rarely can such contact be sustained. This does not mean that you are not cared for. It’s just that the chase is over and you have each other. Whether you’ll keep in touch with each other depends on how interesting things are. I do not mean how interesting they are in bed.
You have got to be able to enjoy each other’s company in other ways. I feel that if your boyfriend cared for you in the way you want him to, he would by now have thought of making you his wife and taking you to the house he now owns. He seems to be in a position to marry.
He’s not doing this and so I feel he’ll amble along for as long as you let him. I suppose the looks you see on his face are a result of the questions you put to him.
I suggest if you want to continue with him, you keep off the inquisition and just be as pleasant as possible. If this still does not bring you two any closer, then something is definitely wrong with your relationship, and you will have to decide whether you will stay or call it quits. The ball is in your court.
– CHRISTINE