Every new parent’s life is centred around their newborn baby. Their every waking moment is all about the baby. In essence, baby comes first, each and everytime.
This is no different for 32-year-old Jessica Reid. In fact, it may be more so.
That’s because her two-year-old daughter Maya Holder was diagnosed with autism last September.
The Oxford Dictionary defines autism as ‘a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterised by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts’.
Initially, Jessica didn’t know what autism was entirely, and she definitely had no idea her daughter was autistic. However, being a mother she realised something just wasn’t right with her baby.
She sought out professional opinion.
“A little after she was one, she wasn’t responding to her name or certain noises. But it didn’t seem like she couldn’t hear, because she would hear certain sounds on television and she would come closer to it as she followed the noises. But if I called her name she wasn’t responding. I thought it was a little weird so I spoke to her paediatrician about it. She told me that’s usually a sign of something you should investigate further. We did a lot of tests with her to make sure that it wasn’t something physical, she checked out fine, so then we knew it was something a bit more,” Jessica explained.
It was later confirmed that little Maya was autistic.
Once it was acknowledged there was nothing physically wrong with the baby, Jessica, being the proactive person she is, quickly switched into another gear and wanted to know what was the next step in getting help for her daughter, whom she shares with boyfriend Amory Holder.
“I guess it was good to know what it was. From the time I found out, I just wanted to know what the options were. I was like ‘what do we do from here’. I’m very solutions oriented in everything that I do. So it’s always like what are the options. I kept reading up about it and I asked Natasha from More4kids a whole set of questions. Anytime I was unsure I asked. Her dad reached out to another lady who has an autistic son and we had a conversation with her just to get feedback from other people who had been through the experience so you know what you’re in for. Still, not paying attention to the doom and gloom but focusing on what we had to do and getting it done,” Jessica explained.
Taking time away from one of Maya’s therapy sessions at More4Kids, Jessica told EASY that since her daughter’s diagnosis, it has been full speed ahead getting her the help she needs to make her better.
“From the time we recognised that there was a problem, the paediatrician sent me to Natasha at More4kids. She just played around with her to see how she would react to certain things. We started coming even before we had the official diagnosis just to get her comfortable, to see if she was just shy and withdrawn or if it was a full thing that needed to be worked on,” she said.
And the very excited mother of one, said over the last six months, she has watched her daughter steadily improve.
“Since we started the treatment with Natasha and a speech therapist, she has made vast improvements. We moved her to another school that has a teacher that deals with children on the spectrum. She only went there from January and it’s been a big improvement. Just having someone who knows how to include her in activities with other children has been a real big deal. She’s doing well and I’m pleased with the progress that she has made. I can’t complain,” she said with a smile.
But life for Jessica, who formerly worked in administration, has changed drastically. But, she said she is doing whatever she has to do to make sure Maya is comfortable and happy.
“I’ve always been into administration but since her diagnosis last September I realised I needed to be a little more flexible. Her dad works shift, so he isn’t that flexible so I have to be the one who could manoeuvre. My world is a lot more Maya-centred. Everything I do is about her. I quit my job and started my own thing at home. Everything I do is to accommodate her. She needs therapy every Tuesdays and Thursdays. I can’t work a normal job and be off those days so we had to find a way to get her to therapy. Everything I do now is with the goal in mind of how it’s going to affect her and how I am going to be able to give her what she needs. I’m not anymore stretched than the average parent I guess. When you have a child all your time goes through the window. I don’t think she’s anymore stressful that a normal child. I sleep when she sleeps,” she added.
Jessica said she considers Maya to be an average two-year-old.
“I know what it is that makes her different, but I think in the grand scheme of things she’s normal. She loves jumping and running and troubling everything. She gives the same trouble another two-year-old would give. She can be real sweet when she wants and she can be real hard-ears when she wants. She’s the average two-year-old, it’s just she hasn’t started talking yet,” she said.
Jessica said though the hardest part of the journey thus far was the finances, but she was determined to do what she had to do with the support of her boyfriend and the charity.
“Right now she’s very expensive. Financing the sessions is very expensive, that’s the hardest part about it I would say. Having a child is expensive, period, but then the additional expense of therapy and those things are hard. And the insurance doesn’t really cover it to that extent. They fight not to cover it. They want to know if it’s a preexisting condition and so on. But I do what I have to do,” she added.
One thing that worries her, though, is that not many people in Barbados are educated enough about what autism really is.
“People in Barbados don’t know enough about it. After her diagnosis and I try to explain it to certain family members, or friends they’re always very clueless. Some people automatically feel like it’s a death sentence. They feel like you’ve just told them that she’s mentally challenged completely and they take it to the extreme and a lot don’t understand that it’s a spectrum, so many different things involved. An average person could have sensory issues and you would be able to interact with people and so on, but you have this challenge you have to work on and so on,” she said.
Thankfully, she said no-one treats her daughter badly.
“I don’t really pay attention to people. I just do what I have to do; I take her everywhere I go and I let her run around and jump and do whatever she’s doing. I don’t focus on if someone is treating her differently. Maya is a sweet child so I don’t think anybody would treat her badly,” Jessica added. (DB)
