Dear Helen,
Having read your column fairly regularly in the Better Health magazine, I never thought I would write to you to address a query I have. It is embarrassing for me as a man, so that I cannot even talk to my friends or my long time doctor. I wonder too in spite of their bravado, if any of them have this problem too. I’m just over age 70 and I am not getting an erection. I am in fairly good health, though I have not been for my regular check up since last year and the lockdown. I lost my wife five years ago, and though I did not lose interest in sex, I have been celibate since her passing. Could it be that my mind is not there, or am I at that age where I can no longer stand at attention? – Senior Dear Senior,
First of all, it’s important that you speak to your long-time doctor about this. They are by far the best person to share this with because they will have had dozens of other patients who share the same concern during that time. It’s also important because erectile dysfunction is a common presenting factor for some medical conditions, in particular, diabetes. So, your doctor definitely needs to see you, sooner rather than later, so that you can find out the underlying cause of this issue. If there are no underlying physical health concerns, then they are well placed to help you work through other reasons for this. Men are not machines, ready to ‘stand to attention’ at a moment’s notice, so be kind to yourself. And, there is nothing wrong if you just don’t want to have sex but prefer to keep yourself to yourself, especially in these challenging times.
So, pick up the phone and make that call and start to find out what’s behind this change.
I hope this helps. – Helen
