For a number of years I have been seething with annoyance at the number of accusations thrown at women about “blocking” their child’s father from visiting or participating in the child’s life. I am utterly annoyed as it is an unfair judgement on the majority of hard-working mothers in this society.
Every so often you are regaled with a story of a man suffering at the hands of his child mother – “cannot see the child when he wants”. But at no time do you see, or is it reported, that similarly women want/ request/ beseech/ pray/intercede to the father of the child to visit and perhaps take an active role in the child’s life.
And honestly, if the father of that child is asked why he has made that choice of not being active, he cannot give you a valid answer, simply not totally interested.
I might add that in most cases the parents are no longer involved and quite frankly that is okay.
No wonder there is so much deviant behaviour, coupled with climbing stress levels.
How could a father live in this small island, in close proximity to a child and never make an effort to visit (and mind you, your doors are always opened and welcoming)?
Quite frankly I’m tired of the nonsense that flows out of people’s mouths, who obviously are not counting the number of these cases in Barbados . . . . Put simply, the putrefaction of wutlessness, immaturity, lack of community, ungodliness, with a strong counter case that they all should be punished for every minute of the day that they do not even think or consider their child.
We have some fathers who go to work, church, who sleep, eat, even pray (remotely) each day without any contact with that child. Not even an afterthought, for if they think that they made a mistake with sleeping with a particular woman, the deed is done, you are forgiven for getting us pregnant, walking away and leaving us with the child in hand.
However, you are responsible, and I advocate that you should be incarcerated in a specialised place where fathers are taught “fundamentals for real dads”; after all, it is a heinous crime.
How dare you force us to make all the decisions about the welfare of the child’s education, and well-being, neglect to love your child and think any and every other thing is more important that he or she?
The thing is that some fathers would send (how cold) money if asked (emphasis), but that is not the fundamental point here. When are you going to visit and be a real “dada”. For this society needs you too.
Life goes on and mothers have managed from time immemorial under the protective arm of God. Children are gifts, even at times when you do not plan to have them.
We beg: do not reject the Lord’s gift. As such, we are asking the society to help these fathers rear their children.
JUANITA SMITH
