Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I’ll go out with my friends who have two, three or more children.
I’ll sit back and watch as these children tear apart their mothers or, on that rare occasion, the fathers. The young ones would break free of whatever restricted seating or standing arrangement. By the time one was captured and returned to custody, the other had taken flight. It’s a never-ending game of musical chairs, even though there is ample seating.
There’ll be other times when, for no apparent reason, one child decides to throw a tantrum and, jealous of the attention the sibling is receiving, the others join in. You end up with two screaming children in public, annoyed stares, one frustrated mother and one relieved friend.
The situation worsens when food makes an appearance. For some reason, food seems to taste better when it is pounded, squished or thrown between mouthfuls.
The clean-up job for one child is hard enough but there were times when at least three children were involved. I’ve seen some parents resort to a very efficient relay system of face-hand-clothes, face-hand-clothes, face-hand-clothes, using the wet wipes to clean up.
I’ve had some of the former singular experiences; that is why I havenothing but great respect for those who undertake such responsibility on numerous occasions.
As my daughter got older, occasionally I would take her along, and that provided our portion of entertainment for the day.
One day we were out with my friend and her two sons who are decent boys but with bundles of energy. There are some things that parents just cannot control. We had decided on a movie and it was our misfortune to arrive early, which was a major accomplishment for both adults.
Movie decided, we were about to sit at a table when I began my mental countdown as to when the chase would begin. The boys – three years apart – never actually got into their seats. Distracted by the lighted billboards, they set off in different directions. Too young to be on their own, one was promptly retrieved and the other given the empty instruction to return.
Naturally, he had to be chased down. The merry-go-round of pursuing and gathering up one child after the other, bringing him back to the table was too funny.
When they were both secured at the table with much to do, both turned their attention to mummy. Then both began clawing at her hair and clothes and talking to her at the same time. And, because they were sitting on opposite sides of her, my friend had to be whipping around her head to each child so neither would feel neglected.
My daughter and I could not help but laugh at the frazzled picture before us.
“I’m glad that you find joy in my misery,” my friend remarked.
With the movie about to start, I put a firm hand on one with loving instructions about what happens inside the cinema. He appeared a little afraid but he could not have imagined the dread he was inflicting on me. There’s nothing more humiliating than being seated in a movie with noisy, restless children. The movie went well.
This Child Month I tip my hat to all parents who defy their instinct to run screaming when the pressure starts to mount. To stand day by day knowing that the same trials will continue for years and never back down is the definition of commitment. That could only come about from an abundanceof love. I particularly admire adoptive and foster parents who take on the responsibility with nothing but love in their hearts.
It is easy for a parent to love a child that is born of them but it takes something special to attend to the needs of a child that is of no blood relation. I salute not just children this month but those who look out for them.
• Antoinette Connell is the DAILY NATION Editor. Email antoinetteconnell@nationnews.com