No to indiscipline

In our introduction last week, we took a look at various issues with which we are faced by simply examining the contents of the haversack of children. This week we address a major problem affecting our homes and schools – indiscipline.
Quite often we are hearing parents and teachers complain about the high level of indiscipline among children, or lament how so many of our young are becoming “wayward”. What is the cause of this change in behaviour? The home structures are changing, family values are changing, and children are having children.
We are focusing specifically on behaviours. Discipline is not rudely answering your parents or teachers; fighting in school; joyriding on the minibus; leaving home in short uniforms; no epaulettes; earrings in boys’ ears; fancy hairdos; loud, abusive exchanges in public places and on public transport; incomplete homework; wukking up or gyrating on one another.
Rather, these are signs of gross indiscipline; and if children engage in any of these forms of behaviour, it needs to be addressed – nipped in the bud. Teachers should not be the ones with primary responsibility; parents, or guardians, should be the ones taking on the onus of stamping out this threat to the stability of their homes, the schools and the society.
Dealing with indisciplined children is not going to be easy, so square up your shoulders and take action from now before the horse has fled the stable.
Indiscipline is not peculiar or exclusive to secondary school; this aberration has been rearing its ugly head at primary school too – even in the nurseries.
There is no way a child between the ages of three and eight years should be seen as indisciplined, but unfortunately sometimes this is the case. At this impressionable age, when young minds are moulded, a parent should be more in control of the actions of his or her child.
Indiscipline is certainly not a sign of growing up and maturity. Mature individuals make good decisions. Disciplined children obey rules; know what is right from wrong, what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviours; and how to respect others. Those children who show self-control and respect for self are self-disciplined.
Just like how practice makes perfect, it will take a while to get the indisciplined child back in line. Parents have to provide the opportunity for helping children grow into the kind of person that will contribute positively to society. It is not an overnight process.
This guidance and mentoring are very important, since parents will be teaching their children important life skills that will be transferred not only to the school environment, but in due course to the workforce. Here are some guidelines to assist parents:
• Create a welcoming home environment. Have open communication, and spend quality time with your child.
• Be aware of the friends of your children.
• Take a deeper interest in what is happening at the school of your child –  meet with the teacher of your child and find a solution to make his or her schooling more productive and satisfying.
• Establish rules – once rules have been established, parents and teachers should explain to the child that broken rules carry consequences. Together with the child decide what the rewards and consequences will be.
• Remember to give rewards and praise for good behaviour. Understand the difference between rewards and bribes. A reward is something your child receives after he or she has done something, while a bribe is given beforehand  to try and motivate him or her to do what you want. Bribes should be avoided.
• Stay calm and do not get carried away when your child shows signs of indiscipline. Avoid yelling and screaming.   
• Inspect your child periodically.
Positive approaches to discipline and creating a positive atmosphere will help to generate self-discipline in your child.
• Rhonda A. Blackman is an educator, a National Development Scholar and former president of the Early Childhood Association of Barbados Inc. Email theopenhaversack@gmail.com.