THESE PAST TWO WEEKS I trying to put my finger on a number of things concerning Caribbean people, but I can’t point to the matters we should be fingering for solutions. I was remonstrating to a policeman over some lawless behaviour, and he warned me about my finger. “Vendor, do not point your finger at me,” he cautioned.
It seems that fingering always getting me in trouble. As a child iffing I use my forefinger to point at somebody I use to get a slap fuh pointing, so fuh a long time after that ah didn’t use the forefinger other than to pick me nose. Later I discovered that that finger had other uses and ah didn’t get complaints then.
The middle finger, which hardly get use as a child, came into its own in adulthood. The longest of the fingers became the source of many emotions from hostility and anger to sweetness. You know how many times I raise that middle finger at people and how dat get them real vex and dem tell me tings ’bout me mudder that I know ain’t true. Jus a little fingering could cause dat?
Sometimes the same finger seemed to be appreciated and ah had offers to lick muh finger! The little finger is key, especially iffing you in de company of big up people sipping tea.Yuh suppose to let it hang out here, but I discover it can also be inserted into cavities – you know, yuh ears!
The thumb is one that could be used either as a positive or a negative and in old times it could mean the difference between life and death. Sometimes that thumbs-up can be used to send important messages to people without a word being uttered but it would hardly be inserted into any cavity. All the other fingers can be inserted into cavities. Ears, nose and mouth come to mind.
Recently, I went to get my prostate checked and having had the PSA blood results read to me, I knew I was good. Yet I see the doctor putting on gloves and he tell me to drop my pants and lie down pun de bed facing de wall!
Do wuh, doc? What for? He show me the fingers and say he got to do a cavity search to be sure. Sure of what? “Vendor,” he say, “relax; I need to do a little fingering of the prostate.” So ah had to submit to a cavity search and can report that everything was alright. I glad this fingering and cavity searching by the medics is not a regular thing but they tell me it is fuh my good.
West Indian cricketers don’t like being fingered; yet that is exactly what has been happening to them of late. Every time them go to bat them does show the umpire two fingers to take guard and the next ball he does show them the forefinger and them back in the pavilion. I try hard to finger the issue and it was only while watching the ICC World Cup final of Saturday gone that I finally put me finger pun de issue.
I see the dressing rooms that the players had wid luxurious leather seating and all kinds of finger food to eat wid them fingers. Finger licking! No wonder them ain’t bothered by the umpire showing them the finger. Ah still can’t quite put me finger pun the real issue confronting Caribbean people.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now; you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear.
