Chef?Dane?Saddler has never missed a doctor’s appointment, was there for both deliveries, changed diapers, wiped runny noses and woke up for 3 a.m. feedings. Yes, Dane has done it all.
Even though he has a challenging occupation, he tries to make the most of the time he spends with Tyler, two years old, and Taiema, nine months old.
“I work into the night so I mainly see the kids in the morning. I get them ready for school and that is my quality time I spend with them other than my off days. So I try to make as much as possible out of the few morning hours and off days.”
Dane’s biggest problem is the lack of sleep. “Tyler is a daddy’s boy so he never lets me rest. I get about five hours’ sleep on a good night, since I get home at around midnight. During the day, once one of them is up, I have to be up – and the two of them are rarely asleep together.”
Dane has a weekday routine that has him up around 6:30 every morning. He then makes breakfast, bathes and dresses Taiema, then dresses Tyler once he is willing to cooperate. If he doesn’t, it’s a tug of war trying to convince Tyler that he has to wear his uniform. Once he is dressed, it’s off to school.
By the time Dane gets home they are both asleep. Hopefully. He has the task then of moving them from his bed to theirs, “because they seem to prefer mine”.
Dane, 29, got what he wanted – a boy and a girl. “I wanted to know the sexes before they were born because I was hoping for a boy the first time around so he could look out for any other siblings if more were to come.
“Then I was hoping for a girl the second time around so my girlfriend Tamara wouldn’t be outnumbered at home,” he said, smirking.
Dane says he was warned by other parents how hard it was to drop them off the first week at daycare, but he didn’t have any problems. He took in Tyler, gave him to the “auntie”, kissed him and left. He recalls turning back to get mum Tamara because she wanted to cry. For Taiema’s turn, it was the same procedure.
Dane cherishes seeing his children grow up. Tyler is very inquisitive and blunt, says Dane, traits he sees in himself. He will be there, he says, to steer them away from negative influences. He hopes they grow up to be strong-willed and leaders, not followers.
“My parents were people of principle and made sure my sister and I grew up with integrity. If I was wrong, I was told why and shown the right way. I think this is an important trait that must be instilled from young, and I try my best to do so.”
What is the best childhood memory you have? ”Going out with my father and him introducing me as young Saddler. As a Jamaican living here, he wanted me to remember my roots so he would take me out with him to any Jamaican social events here on the island.
“As a teenager, going out and interacting with adults in a comfortable environment under my father’s wing drew me closer to him.”
Dane’s impatience has moved slowly to patience. He says that virtue is needed to answer the same question ten times or trying to tell a two-year-old why he can’t have ice cream for breakfast.
“Being a father is a privilege, not a job, and I enjoy all aspects – even the stress that comes with it.”