Dear Christine,
I have been living with my two children’s father now for eight years.
He is 45 and I am 32.
Christine, you could not have asked for a better man up until a year ago, when he took up with a girl young enough to be his daughter. He started coming home later, or would come in and leave all dressed up. He would also always give me some foolish excuse.
We know that affairs of this sort can’t be hidden for too long.
Soon we were quarrelling a lot and he eventually asked me to get out of his house. I left because I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
Eventually, I got better and even though I still love him, I have made friends with another man who is married. He won’t leave his wife because of his son who is the apple of his eye.
We don’t see each other more than twice a week, sometimes not even that.
I like him because he does not rush me.
Now, guess what!
The children’s father wants to come back. The girl had other men with him and he left her.
He tells me he is sorry and that he misses me and the children. He even said we can get married.
Christine, I don’t know who to settle for.
– C.M.
Dear C.M.,
THE truth is you do not have to settle for either one of them. First and foremost, stop seeing the married man. He already belongs to someone else. In any case, he is not prepared to leave his home or his wife for you. Forget the foolish excuse that his son is his eyeball.
That’s one of the oldest and most repeated lies. There’s just nothing stable there for you and the children.
Your children’s father is not in a very good position after his spree. Furthermore, he should show you that he respects you and not take you for granted as he did for the past eight years.
However, if you believe he is really sorry and you two can work things out, and if you still love him, then maybe you might consider accepting his proposal of marriage.
– CHRISTINE
