Parentcraft: natural or of the making?

THERE IS NO GAINSAYING that parents hold the key to curing our social ills – not the politicians really, unless they themselves are a part of the parental brigade.Still, we empathise with Minister of Family Stephen Lashley over his lamentation “that far too many parents are not taking their parental responsibilities seriously”.And we would not be so unkind as not to wish him well in his determination that the state “will move in the direction” where it will “provide support mechanisms for . . . parents”. Already, says, Mr Lashley, the Ministry of Family has started training in the art of parenting.Ostensibly, a good thing. The fear is, for Mr Lashley it might end up mere wishful thinking.First, who will be the teachers of the parents? Those weaned on the “progressive methods” of the American-originated parental techniques?Are parents going to be taught to “negotiate” with their charges; how to survive the ensuing stalemate between father/mother and child? Are these much touted techniques of parent-child conflict resolution not shown to be without any great success?Parental guidance cannot be that intellectually intense. It relies simply on the basic good in the human spirit and the commonsensical notion that children must be taught the ethics of civilised life by their parents, who should have been taught by those before them.Parents have a bounden duty – not the politicians – to see to it that their offspring have these values inculcated in them in the home before they are let loose into the wider world.Learning these ethics and values means being made aware of the difference between mine and thine. It means being able to accept no for an answer. It means being able to deal with disappointment and having the courage and tact to moveon and focus afresh.It means for our children coming to grips with the knowledge that how they dresson the streets dictates the stares they get, or the applause; that public wear determines how they may be assessed by their peers . . . .That exposed bits of tongs and flashing edges of boxers deliver as much asan indictment of them as it makes for them an ignoble fashion statement.Yes, parents need to know how to inculcate these values, norms and proper codes of conduct and deportment in their children. But this practice comes from hereditary training at home, the very first school.Our first teachers have always been our parents. It ever has been and ever shall be – for the good of us all.Graduate parents of the classroom?We have our doubts civic parental clones will cut it.Furthermore, where there is no strong, profound, natural parental leadership,the family perish.