At 76, Thelma Knight still has lots of feisty fervour, especially when she is recounting stories of her past. Her ability to remember dates, places and times can leave you awestruck, but especially when she is telling the story of how she met and fell in love with her Gilbert.
This isn’t a fancy-filled story of a girl that had some teenage crush. No, it is about a young woman who came of age, met, fell in love and married the man of her dreams, and 53 years and six children later, she talks about him with the same passion she did as when they first met.
For the jaded souls among us, their story is one that inspires passion and just a teeny bit of envy. After all, Thelma and Gilbert managed to do what the wealthy Kim Kardashian and many others couldn’t in their marriages – get it right.
Thelma will tell you that from the first time she met Gilbert they had a connection. Call it magic, that thunderbolt that’s the stuff of movies, but she knew he had “it”.
“At that time I was living with my mother in Grazettes,” she recalled. “He was a carpenter. That was his trade. He was working at the house next door, and I was getting ready to go to lessons. I used to go to shorthand and typewriting at that time. My mother had gone on to work and I remember closing the window and when I looked up our eyes met. I don’t know, but something happened then and it started from there.”
What happened between Thelma and Gilbert was a spark that seemed to ignite from that brief glance. They started dating from then.
“He came around and talked to my mum because you know at that time parents had to be involved,” she said. “But listen, he is from St John and, remember, I live in St Michael, and he had to go home every afternoon, but he would make sure that he come and visit me first. Then he would go home riding on a bicycle . . . . When I picture those days, he couldn’t do that now with all the violence. He had to pass by canes and everything. But he did that for a long time until we got married.”
Their courtship lasted four years, and led to Thelma becoming pregnant with their first child, a boy, at 19.
Having a child out of wedlock was something that was frowned upon back them, especially by her mother since Thelma was an only child.
“My mother had believed in marriage. She never liked this long courtship business. She always felt it was sinful. She was upset when I got pregnant because everything was centred around me,” she said. “At first I felt a little way but he was there for me from day one. He never shirked, and because at that time the midwife used to come around to have your baby, he would always say, ‘This money is the midwife money’. All six of my children were born home.
At 23, Thelma and Gilbert got married and got down to the business of building their lives. They lived with her mother for four years, and Gilbert worked, saved up and built their St Michael home with his two hands.
“I was a housewife. Gilbert had believed that I should stay home and take care of the children. He decided that he would work and maintain,” she said. “I didn’t have all the luxuries that people have now, but one thing: the children were well kept.”
As the years passed and children came, Thelma and Gilbert grew both in their family and in their love for each other. Naturally, they had their disagreements, especially, according to Thelma, when Gilbert would drink sometimes.
“We had our quarrels and we’d disagree about things, but we would always compromise,” she said. “To be truthful, I am the person that would come off if I see he would want to hold out, because he’s a stubborn person. I would say jokingly, ‘Man, you play that you vex’, and he would smile, and that was finished. Marriage is something that individuals have to keep at to make it work. You always have to keep your vows ‘For better or worse, in sickness and in health’.”
Thelma really got to live her vows recently when in June she came home and realized that Gilbert had a mild stroke.
“I came home from church and I shout for him to tell him to unlock the door. (I can’t get him to go to church, but I working on it though.) He unlocked the door and I said, ‘I get back, Gil’. But when he answered he didn’t sound right, and then I saw saliva coming down his mouth and his face had looked different. I told my son Ken I didn’t like how his father looked and they were off to the hospital,” Thelma said. “It turned out he had a mild stroke. His speech is slurred and his hearing is impaired, but thank God he can move and do everything for himself. But he’s getting physiotherapy.”
Not even illness or the threat of old age could damage Thelma’s love for Gilbert and his for her. According to her, she knows his stubborn ways, and she’s learned to live with him.
“Tongue and teeth will have words, but it takes water to out a fire,” she said. “That’s the problem with married people today. I find with this generation everyone is at each other’s throat and no one wants to back down and that doesn’t make sense.”
What made perfect sense for Thelma was that she and Gilbert should stay and build their family together.
“You know, I have no regrets; none at all,” she said. “Things wasn’t always easy financially. Even though Gil was working, I would make sweet bread, and cakes and sell, and those things helped. My mother was a seamstress and she helped to make clothes for the children. We made it. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses; you have to go on your steam.”
Though Gilbert and Thelma are in their twilight years, their steam and passion haven’t fizzled out, and she is encouraging other couples to follow her example and persevere their own marriages.
“Marriage is about a togetherness, a oneness,” Thelma said. “It’s a vow which is something very sacred. You will meet with challenges, but you should stick with it because it’s worth it.”
