Dear Christine,
THINGS ARE REALLY getting out of hand between me and my husband. We have been married for the past 14 years and I can only recall him kissing me four times.
I know he has a woman and I am wondering how he makes love to her. He is not the kind to caress you. If he is having sex, he wants to keep on his underwear as though he is stealing something. He sleeps with his back to me. Christine, nothing at all turns this man on.
I am a romantic person and I love my husband very much despite what is going on. I went to doctors to find out what I can do to improve his love-making, but nothing works wonders. Can you understand what it is like living with a man and doing everything to excite him without any success?
I sleep naked, walk around naked and all I can get out of him is sex twice a month. I have to quarrel to get him to have me.
My mind is telling me to go and find someone to get pleasure from because I certainly cannot go on like this. I wash for him, cook for him, keep house for him and all he is looking at are the material things he gives me. I would give up a lot of those material things for a little romance.
There is more I could tell you but I will leave that for later. I would like to get the opinion of your readers on how to solve my problem.
– W
Dear W,
As usual, readers can always email their views and I am willing to publish the responses of those who write.
In fact, I appreciate their contributions since your problem seems quite out of depth for some sure solution.
I can maybe believe that your husband is low on the sex scale but if he is indeed having an affair, he may be more sexually active than you are aware.
One thing is sure, you cannot continue in a marriage like this. Things must change, or you’ll have to decide whether it’s worth your while to stay.
The ploy of walking around in your birthday suit may not be the best way of trying to “seduce” him. It would perhaps work more effectively if he had the chance to do the stripping than to find you stripped and ready for action.
I would also think that getting him to the doctor (if he considers he has a problem) would be more effective than you going to the doctor on your own. Have you tried getting him to do this?
Let’s both hope we get some good suggestions. Mine would be to talk the problem over with your husband and, if it can’t be solved with him alone, to seek professional help together – if he is keen on repairing his marriage and being the husband he should be.
– CHRISTINE