West Indies, no laughing matter

ANOTHER TRIP OVERSEAS fuh de West Indies cricket team, same hopes and expectations. Now it is time for the post mortem when we dissect de carcass and look fun de reason.The cricket pathologists will have their say pun de latest tragedy, If it wasn’t so bad it would be a comedy! But how can you laugh and mek mock sport, when yuh really want to cry? Dat is a bad joke.What has happened to the great fighting spirit of yore? Is it gone and never to come back no more?A fella in India said we came for the celebration and we brought gifts,Cud dear, at least when yuh go to a party yuh does eat and drink too,But we like we was the entertainment and de crab and de callaloo!Dey say de captain is de one to blame.El capitan is de one who lose de gameAnd as leader he must hold de shame.To lose in India a Test and One Day series tooMust be a major disappointment and let-down fuh true.And while el capitan must face de cameras and explain,Wha bout de rest, yuh know, de other ten men in de team?Dem does eat de same breakfast, lunch and I sure dinner,So how come crappo smoke we pipe when we need a winner?West Indies batting just like nut brittle;Before yuh look, it crack, snap and fizzle.A fan say de reason why they can’t occupy de creaseIs de spicy Indian food they eat and need to release.Did we fellas really eat roti, bhaji and dhal?Or did they serve food dat was not Halal?De fan may have a point, take Chanderpaul for example:It is home cooking fuh he and so he batting was ample?Dis India tour turn out to be a disaster.Now everybody covering de sores with plaster.Was it de preparation, did they have enough timeBefore they went to Mumbai and India cut they behind?Or could it be jet lag, you know the long plane ride over.A trip like dat would tek de Vendor a week to recoverPerhaps it was de sight of so many pretty Indian lassesDat had we holding blows and leaving with empty glassesFuh me, de Vendor, I think it is all in de name.If British Leyland had called de Jaguar a pussy catYou know anybody who woulda want to drive dat?My proposal is dat we keep the captain as de sameBut create a new image, same man, but a new name.I proposing we be led by a fella named Darendra Darsammy! I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?