Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Ready to leave abusive wife

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Dear Christine,
FOR THE PAST five years I have had to seek refuge away from home on a number of occasions because my wife and I are always fighting or just bickering.
My wife is the kind of woman when she gets really angry she’ll curse very loudly, attempt to hit me and even throw things at me.
She has no consideration whatsoever for our neighbours. It does not matter to her who hears her as she does not care. Sometimes she will even get on the telephone and discuss all our business with her friends.
Christine, I know it takes two to make a quarrel. I am not a saint and I would be the first to admit that. I am not, however, as bad as she makes me out to be.
I also lose my temper and slap her around.
It’s the only way at times to get her to shut up.
We have three children together and I would like to leave her and take the children with me. She is totally against me taking the children, but says I can go if I want to.
I have relatives who would help me look after the children. What do you suggest I do?
– H
 
Dear H,
While you are concerned about your next step and your wife obviously does not care about her behaviour, my worry is about the children.
The cursing, bickering, fighting and screaming are taking place before their eyes. Have you two considered how this can affect them?
It can be more harmful to them than having to live with just one parent.
For the sake of these children, I suggest that you speak to someone at the Child Care Board who would be able to direct you, or that you talk your problems over with a marriage counsellor as soon as you can to see if you can get back to a stable way of living together as a family.
– CHRISTINE

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