I WAS WARNED about getting involved with a policeman because I was told that they do not treat women well. I ignored that advice because I believe it is wrong to paint a group of people with the same broad brush. For me to do that would be like saying that all white women have flat behinds – that is not true.Anyway, I have to admit that my policeman turned out to be everything bad I was warned about. He proved to be a big liar. And when I finally came to my senses, he tried to destroy my happiness by harassing me.But worse than this, he had other policemen older than he was who, as far as I could see, never did anything to stop him though I complained about his behaviour.
Given what I went through I now understand why policemen have such a bad reputation as lovers, and why family members don’t encourage such relationships.I met my nuisance of a policeman at a wedding. I was attracted to his good looks and his quiet manner. Unlike the men there pushing for a dance, he was Mr Cool. He looked at me, smiled and held out his hand. Without saying a word, I took his outstretched hand and we danced. I liked him from that moment.For the rest of the night we danced together and talked. I introduced him to my sister and my best friend. They too liked his easy-going manner and the pleasant, respectful way he spoke with them.However, when they pulled me off to the washroom with them, they cautioned me about policemen, saying that they liked to have a lot of women and always felt because of their jobs that they could do what they liked.But I did not listen to them. I really liked the guy and, as I said, I never believed in painting everyone with the same brush. So I ignored their advice and that night gave him my phone numbers. After that we started talking.
At first, everything went well. Depending on his shift, we would chat on the phone for long periods and sometimes would go to the movies and out to parties. He never pressured me for sex during our first two-and-a-half months, neither did he push to meet my family as I had told him that they didn’t like the idea of me going out with a policeman.He never took me by his house either, but by a friend of his. He had keys to the guy’s rental house and we used to lime there.By the third month of friendship we had started having sex, and he then began coming around by my house even more. I remember the day when my mother finally sat down and spoke with him for the first time. He told her that over time she and everyone would see he was not like other policemen. He was so sincere. I fell for him all over again.After that, our relationship really took off. He then started taking me by his house, which he said he was reluctant to do in the beginning because it was being repaired. There I met his mother and brother.
Now up to that point, he had told me there was no one in his life and he had no children. But exactly 10 weeks and two days after we started to be intimate and everything between us seemed to be going perfect, a girl called me at work and told me I had her man. But worse than that, she was pregnant, and he left her for me when she told him.That night when he came by me and I told him about it, he turned into a different human being. From a man who was generally soft-spoken and hardly ever used a curse word, he started swearing saying the girl was wicked and trying to destroy his life. They had been involved but she cheated on him, he said, and now that she was pregnant she was trying to put it on him.What came out, too, was that when he had started courting me, the two of them were together and she was living in his mother’s house with him – that is why he never wanted me to go there. It had nothing to do with the house being “miserable” because it was under repairs.He told me that was the only lie he told me, but he had to keep that from me as he did not want to lose someone like me, especially when he was breaking off the relationship and would soon be free. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t. The fact that he had lied to me was a turn-off. Besides that, I did not need these complications in my life. So I told him I needed time to decide what I was going to do, and he reluctantly left.For the next few days he called me at least eight times a day trying to get me to speak with him, but I just put him off each time. After that he started coming to my workplace, trying to talk with me on the job. Though I told him that made me look bad, he would not stop. The whole thing had me going crazy, so I got sick leave to be away from it all. That’s when he started coming to my house again though I told him not to. I called a sergeant he always spoke of, but that man told me to give him a chance. He could not see that I did not like the fact that I was lied to.I called two other older policemen he worked with and they too told me I was being silly and should give him a chance. Neither of them seemed to care about what I felt or wanted.My mother and sister asked him never to come around to the house so he stopped coming, but he kept calling me though I would not take his calls. He called me so much that I had to change my cellphone number.It took nearly five weeks before he got the message I wanted nothing to do with him. The last I heard from the girl was that he was still not accepting responsibility for her pregnancy and all he does is curse her.
As far as I am concerned, any man who lives his life like this is not a man. To be a man you must take responsibility for your actions. Equally bad, he hurt me because of his lie; I hate liars. I was happy when he just stopped calling. I would suggest to other women that they get to know any man, especially a policeman, before they become intimate with them. Ask questions about him; don’t take his word for anything.Men need to realise that women have strong feelings and would love them if they are honest with them. What we can’t take are the lies.
