LAST WEEK Thursday night after performing daddy and husband duties I went on Facebook to see if there were any discussions I could be involved in and if there was anything new happening around the world or in Barbados.
I found an interesting discussion in which a Christian was sharing their displeasure at other Christians who were buying tickets for the Rihanna show but didn’t even support local Christian shows.
I didn’t take a position on whether a Christian should attend the show but I did try to kindly show the host of the discussion where I thought they were being unfair and unprincipled.
As the discussion continued, the individual was harshly critical of Christians attending any secular event. I said they were condemning Christians who attend secular events when as a gospel artist they performed at these same events.
Wasn’t this unfair and hypocritical? I asked. I received no answer. The contributions of others who joined in were not favourable to the host, so after 274 comments, they deleted the entire discussion.
Another discussion was put up about the deleted discussion and I said the content was misleading those who weren’t in the previous discussion. Guess what happened next. I was deleted from the person’s Facebook friends list as well as BB contact list.
Six years ago I would not have been so forthright.
In 2005, two friends of mine, Anderson Rice and Imran Richards, said they needed to talk to me urgently. As we drove around they basically said, “Arsonist (nickname), we see a lot of pride in your life and you are very arrogant and you need to humble yourself.”
Their comments hurt my feelings, but I went home and over the next few weeks I realized they were right.
The following year, while on a six-month stint in Australia, I really saw how pride and arrogance were hindering my growth. Although what my friends said hurt my feelings, it helped me to make a U-turn in my life as I sought to be a humble and better person.
We as a people are afraid to “mash people’s corns”, afraid to speak the truth because we don’t want to offend others or hurt their feelings. Many times, because we fear losing their favour and friendship, we allow our friends to make decisions or do things that we know in our hearts aren’t wise or right.
I have decided that if I see a friend doing something that I think is unwise, unkind or wrong I will say something about it.
How many of us have had friends who had boyfriends or girlfriends that we didn’t approve of or were getting married and we didn’t think they were ready and we said nothing about it? What about our work colleagues being dishonest or our friends making a comment to someone that we knew to be untrue?
We need to learn to “mash some corns”. Friends might hate us now but will thank us later. We need to also take into consideration how we do this – effective communication is essential. Everything we say and do must be done in kindness and with clear pure motives. Our goal should be to uplift and build up the person whose corns we are mashing.
Those whose corns are being mashed need to be open-minded and have a teachable spirit. This is an area
I am still working on. As educated people we tend to think we know everything and therefore our first response is to defend. But our first response should be to listen and to analyze.
Two Sundays ago, my pastor, David Coulthrust, made mention of the wise and foolish builders; one built his house on the sand and the other on the rocks. He said what was most amazing to him wasn’t that the man built his house on the sand but that he was able to complete it. He asked, “Couldn’t somebody tell the man something?”
Let’s not walk in fear but in love. If you say you are my friend, let me know when I am going in the wrong direction. Yes, it may hurt, but the Bible says, “Open rebuke is greater that hidden love.”
Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth youth ambassador. Email [email protected]
