EVERYBODY is blaming me for hurting and cheating on J. with S., but the shameful truth is I was actually cheating on S. with J. Please allow me to explain.
About 11 years ago I met J. She was my pride and joy. She introduced me to her aunt, who hated me at first because she thought I was not good enough for J. and continually pressured her to break up with me.
About two years afterwards, the pressure got to J. because she began to neglect me and only came around once or twice for sex, so our relationship came to an end.
Two months after that, I met S. and we became friends, and one thing led to another as she was so understanding.
About a week into that new relationship, J. called me out of the blue and said she was sick. I took her to the doctor, only to find out she was over three months pregnant. She told her mother and aunt. One said, “kill it”, and the other told her that she was a disappointment.
She was kicked out of the house. I stood by her side for her complete term. S., realizing that I was spending more time with J. than with her, told me to tell J. that I was involved with someone – so I did. Report upon report went
to J. that I had another woman, but in fact I only had S. at the time.
After our child was born, J. told me to get rid of S. and come back to her. As she was the mother of my only child at that time, I foolishly tried, but S. refused to go saying, “J. hurt you and she will do it again. This is not fair; I’m not leaving”.
This went on and on until I made the biggest mistake. I became involved with both of them at the same time. S. soon became pregnant and gave me a son.
At first I felt macho that I had two full-time women, but as time went on I became more and more disgusted with myself and abstained from any sex with either of them. This soon led to J. prompting me to leave S. and come back to her completely, and as I never lost any love for J., I complied.
The battle started again. I pulled away from S. to go back to J., but S. realized what I was doing and put up a fight – a long, bitter and painful one. I then managed to get free from S, but I was hurt to see how much pain I had caused her. There was so much hatred between us too that it took a long time to recover from that pain.
Meanwhile, J. made her advances but I told her to give me some time as I was still very bitter and hurt from S. A few weeks ago, J. asked me if I was still interested in her and I said, “Yes, I still love you, but just give me a little more time and then I will be all yours.” However, I noticed she kept getting unusual calls after work. At first she told me it was a girl from her workplace, but under interrogation she admitted it was a man. I smelt a rat.
Less than two weeks afterwards we had an argument over our child going out, and when I tried talking to J., she refused to listen. So I went by her workplace to see if she would speak to me in a calmer way there. I got the shock of my life as I realized that she had a new man. I saw him drop her to work. And when I tried talking to her, she became hysterical – you would think I went to rob her.
I called her sister to find out exactly what was going on and that is when I learnt that I was the bad guy as I treated her badly, cheated on her and had another child. I tried explaining the truth, but as usual I’m a man so I’m wrong – nobody listened to hear my side of the story, which is the truth.
All the women in her family and her friends are rallying behind her and making me the bad person, but she is the one who caused most of the pain.
I stood by J. all of these years, making her look good to her family, destroyed S. in the process and caused her so much pain and hurt. Now she has left me for a new guy, and all I am left with is pain and heartache.