In the progress of personality, first comes a declaration of independence, then a recognition of interdependence. – Henry Van Dyke
I LOVE TO eat fish because of their nutritional value. The thought struck me one day, however, that before the well cooked delicious looking fish relaxes on my plate and is finally consumed, several individuals far and near would have contributed to my having the pleasure of enjoying that delicacy.
For example, a man or woman may have developed the notion that catching fish as a means of income and helping people to be healthy was a good idea.
They may have also decided to undergo training in the craft with other fisherfolk in order to be at their best. Other providers may have been those who made the nets, lines, rods, hooks, boat and bait. I can also think of the contribution of the fish vendors, the cleaners, the retailers, the gas or electric company, the farmers and the list can go on.
The powerful lesson here is that we cannot function without each other. It was Erik Erikson who said: “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.”
Looking beyond 50 years as a nation, every Barbadian should make interdependence a top priority matter in the best interest of the country.
Interdependent comes from the Latin word inter meaning “among, between”, and dependere, which means “to hang from, be dependent on”. The combined words therefore imply that proper merging and directing towards a common goal can result in something very beautiful. I believe that if such interdependence is first initiated within the family, which is the first unit into which every person is born, the positive ripple effect on every segment of the wider society can be something beautiful to behold.
Complementing, not competing
Complementing and not competing with each other within the home environment is therefore the secret to long-term interconnected network of people working toward the common good of all. I think author Karen Salmansohn placed the concept in perspective when she said: “The best relationship is one that does not foster too much independence nor too much dependence, but exists in the healthy interdependence zone.”
To a large extent, how each individual member functions within this bedrock institution, the family, will determine to a large extent the level of progress or paralysis within our country Barbados, which many of us have grown to value. One of the many areas in which the society may benefit if the family unit strives to get it right is effective leadership.
Leadership
Leadership guru John Maxwell said that “leadership has to do with influence; nothing more, nothing less”. Every country needs sound leadership at every level of its operation in order for it to be productive.
It would be naive of me to believe that leaders at different stations of operation within society all have the same personalities and the same purpose. However, I believe there are some common grounds on which they can all shake hands and interdependently strive to foster a selfless atmosphere within which each citizen can be made to feel a great sense of belonging.
Honesty, integrity, fairness, respect for each other and those in positions authority, accepting responsibility and hard work, all of which should be first taught within the homes; are a few of the character traits that leaders should embrace in order to form indelible footprints into which our next generation should feel happy to step.
On this 50th year of Independence, let interdependence become a desirable goal. Beyond leadership, the workplace will benefit from the interdependence that may be adopted within the psyche of family members.
Workplace conflict
In interfacing with both management and staff within workplaces, I have observed that most of the negative conflict that surfaces within such places of employment has nothing first to do with the workplace itself, but the unresolved issues that the individuals bring into the working environment. Lack of productivity, mental health issues, emotion challenges, low morale, self-harm, distress, absenteeism are a few of the negative offshoots of personality paralysis that has the capability of crippling our country’s economy.
Each employee must not have as his/her chief motive that of going to work to meet his/her personal needs but ought to view what he/she does as an important part of the greater national whole.
It was Dr Martin Luther King Jr who emphasised that: “It really boils down to this: all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. We are made to live together because of the interrelated structure of reality.” Profound. Again I believe the home should take the first shot at nurturing proper work ethics.
National pride
Looking beyond our 50th anniversary of Independence there should be an elevated sense of national pride within Barbadians that should motivate us to interdependently exercise all our creative genius for the advancement of our country.
Author and radio host Joni Eareckson Tada summed it up this way: “I have an interesting perspective on depending on others. I think it gives people a chance to serve. And I’m not so much big on independence, as I am on interdependence. I’m not talking about co-dependency; I’m talking about giving people the opportunity to practise love with its sleeves rolled up.”
Can you imagine what our Barbadian society would be like if we all moved forward interdependently?
• Haynesley Griffith is a marriage and family life consultant. Email: griffitharticles@gmail.com