YUH SEE DIS DRIVING TING? It doestek a person wid a strong heart to drive pun de roads in Barbados. If yuh ain’t never cuss, I can guarantee it will happen from the time you beginto drive.
You could be driving on the main road and see a car a ways off by a corner waiting to come onto de main road. Now you so far off that the driver could’ve come out, reverse back (Iz a Bajan) in the gap and come out again and you still would not have reached, but for some reason that driver gine wait till as soon as you a grass blade away from their gap to then come out fast, and then drive slow!
Now yuh see dat dey? Dat would mek anybody head hot. Thendem got de ones that real impatient. I don’t know if it is that they are hurrying to get to the bathroom or what, but dem always in a hurry.
First example is the one that doestry to thread needles throughtraffic bobbing and weaving as if dem ain’t had no sense. I never realised people were in so much of a hurryto tempt death, ’cause that is exactly what dem doing driving likeheadless chickens.
The next one is something that happens to all of us. We at the traffic lights and waiting patiently. As soon as the light turn green some idiot in de back gine beep de horn. I mean it just this minute turn green, yuh know, and it ain’t like it is a drag race –you don’t have to bong off of the line like a madman. But yet that person decide to blow de horn on me. My petty side took over and suddenly I couldn’t find my gas pedal – if yuh doubt me,ask me.
Now imagine you driving andtaking your cool time. The speedlimit is 60 mph and let’s say you areat 50 mph, and speedy Gonzalez behind you in a hurry but can’t pass forwhatever reason so dem decide to come right up under your car bumper to intimidate you.
Now, I knowI ain’t the only one to think this,but if I did not want my day completely ruined by being in an accidentI would jam brakes to teach he orshe a lesson. Too many idiots on de road daily and dem does test your mental state every second you onde road.
So when yuh on de road, think for you and the person behind and in front, hear? Don’t let them mek you sin yuh soul.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
Toni-Ann Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy.Email toniann.johnson@gmail.com.