Monday, June 8, 2026

THE ‘NETTE EFFECT: Put yourself in mum’s shoes

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LIFE ISN’T FAIR states the rogue Scar in his epic quote from the Disney classic The Lion King.

The quote applied both to mankind and the animal kingdom and that proved to be the case recently. Life isn’t fair – not for man and sometimes not for gorillas.

A lot of people quibbled over whether we should be debating sometime as distant – even minor – as the shooting of a primate in the United States when there were more pressing matters at home. Sure there are other issues demanding our attention and action but this is what a technology world has reduced us to.

We can stop from a distant and shout advice, comment and otherwise feel as though we have a valued opinion on this thing or the next.

There are a number of things the gorilla Harambe incident has shown us, one is that you can be in your corner of the world, minding your business and sudden so you are paying the ultimate price. The other is that parenting is not an exact science as the comments showed that almost no one defended her but shouted give us Harambe. The screams for justice for the primate overtook all other sense of reasoning.

But isn’t life not only unfair but as we Bajans say “funny”?

Harambe appeared to be happy in a life of captivity for 17 years as he cut a majestic figure for the visitors to his habitat. Then one day there was a mighty uproar above his home. Looked out, saw a child and instinctively took the little one into his custody, the more than 400 pound beast did.

Dragged it around for a few minutes in a moat before zoo officials became concerned that a bit too much roughhousing from the well-intentioned super strong beast could be fatal for the child. Tranquilisers were out because to put down the beast it would take at least ten minutes for the drug to course its way through his powerful frame.

As he toyed with the child, fascinated by this strange creature that had found its way into his home, he died, shot by officials unwilling to take a chance with the child’s life.

It should have ended there but suddenly there were screams for the heads of the neglectful parent who would allow the child to find its way into the enclosed area. Everybody became an expert parent.

I am sure that a closer examination of all of us parents would turn up some pretty scary moments in our childrearing. The only difference is it was not in a public place with cameras everywhere recording the horror that eventually gave way to public shame.

It is very easy to look away for a split second and have your child go missing. The length and breadth that child went to in order to get into the enclosure with the gorilla points to a very determined child and one without fear. That combination is exhausting for a parent. 

My circle is filled with friends who at one point or the other had a near miss. It was not for a lack of trying or willfully being a bad parent but things happened and a child finds its way tottering at the top of the stairs or outside the house walking away.

Or, that one fateful moment, when a toddler tugs away from safe hands and bolts into harm’s way faster than any adult can react.

You could be the world’s best parent, training your child in how to behave, instilling good manners and generally seeing after their wellbeing and one moment, just one moment and it all wiped away.  

A moment of inattentiveness could have you in contention for worst parent of the year.

But I ask all you parents to pause and remember that one time things almost got out of hand. That time your heart skipped a beat when you looked around and the child was missing and the hunt began.

Imagine how something like that could erase all that you have done as a parent of otherwise good standing.

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