MY FATHER VEX WITH ME. I mean he real vex, blue vex with me. He behaving as if I am not a woman, but a little child. He is objecting to the man with whom I am now friendly and actually sharing a house. To be more accurate, I should really say that this man has prepared a place for us to live and with which I am very pleased.
My father believes that my fiancé is too old for me and would like to discourage the relationship, at least from my side, since he has no control or influence over my lover. Indeed, I consider him much more than a lover in the romantic sense of things, but a real friend, confidant, a counsellor and a financial adviser and someone who guides me along the right path.
The crux of the problem has to do with age. My sweetheart is 64 years old and I am 31. My father is 58 years old and my mother is 50. My parents are not together as a couple and have not been for 29 years, having never married and deciding to go their separate ways when I was only two years old.
Fortunately, I have been well looked after by both of them and my relatives on either side of the family. Additionally, my mother’s husband, who has been around for more than 25 years, was and still is an exceptional stepdad. Indeed, I consider him as my dad and have always referred to him as such. My sisters are his biological children and we too share a close bond.
I first met the man with whom I now share a home while working in the same public department and we became close over a three-year period before the relationship became intense. His wife had died when he was 54 years old and he never remarried. He has two grown children who are now on their own with their spouses.
Our relationship started out as a platonic one at first as we would do a number of things together. I like scuba diving and hiking, while he is an avid reader and loves singing choral music. He likes his garden, a passion I share and these along with cooking, are perhaps the things which brought us together more than anything else.
The saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach does have some truth to it as I like to cook and try a range of fancy dishes which captivated not only his palate but also his heart.
We started to see each other outside of work and our shared interests. Our dates ranged from going to a few concerts to even attending a back in time event. This fete inspired us to attend ballroom and line dancing classes. This was something we both enjoyed and it really cemented our relationship. Our romance blossomed.
He immediately warned me that there would be a lot of pressure on both of us because of the age difference. He also warned me it would be harder for me than him, given that I had fallen for a man twice my age. But the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to stay close to him. His love, care and understanding were absolutely amazing and remain so to this day.
At first I never revealed whom I was dating, but eventually it became an open secret. We went on two cruise vacations and we had a most wonderful time at Christmas in New York. The relationship has allowed me to do things which give me a certain level of independence. We do not beg for a lodging at someone while on holiday but can move with style.
My fiancé has two properties, one of which he is indicated for his two children, while the other he wants to give to me. I honestly believe him because he is serious when it comes to providing for his family. He has suggested that we cement our relationship and that has started with my pregnancy now in the second trimester of which we are both elated. He has popped that all important question and suggested that we do something simple but elegant before the birth of the bundle of joy.
When I informed my relatives of the good news, there was generally a very positive reaction from all with the exception of my father. He was livid and actually felt that I should have terminated the pregnancy. I was adamant that I would not and the father would be terribly disappointed if I carried out any such action.
Since I told my father of the pregnancy, he has been saying that I am putting the people who knows him and indeed my mother to laugh at them. He said the man is too old for me and is only making a fool of himself and trying to hurt me. I see no such action on his part and do believe that, on the contrary, he has my best interest at heart.
Sometimes when I sit and think of the situation I wonder whether my daddy is jealous that my life has taken a turn for the better especially as it relates to material things. I now have a beautiful home, a nice vehicle and get to do a range of things I enjoy. I am not longer hard up for money.
My actions may very well result in a permanent strain in the relationship between my father and I, but I have to choose what is in my best interest. I do believe that age is just a number and if our individual health holds up then I look forward to a number of years of solid loving togetherness. I am excited by the upcoming birth of our first child together and quite honestly within 15 months of its birth would like to have another one.
At least my mother is not outwardly angry. More importantly, I have accepted that age is truly nothing more than a number.