SOPHIA HOLDER was right-handed all her life.
But, for the last 22 years, she has been a “leftie”.
That switch was not by choice.
In 1994, Sophia lost her right arm in an accident involving a truck and a minibus travelling along Jackson in St Michael.
Even though Sophia vividly remembers the accident that happened on June 7 when she was travelling on the minibus to her St Thomas home, she admits it is not a story she likes to revisit.
The 43-year-old returned to that “dark time” and shared her story and the inner strength and perseverance she drew on to make it through.
Sophia, who has been an Emergency Medical Dispatcher at the Ambulance Service for just over ten years, arrives just minutes before her 2 p.m. shift is set to start at the Jemmotts Lane, St Michael office.
Neatly dressed in her uniform – dark blue slacks and a lighter blue short sleeve shirt with black shoes, Sophia confesses in an interview with the SUNDAY SUN that she likes being punctual.
She remains hesitant in revisiting the accident scene that changed her life.
“It is a traumatic experience. It is a dark area in one’s life and you wish you could erase it more or less,” she said.
Sophia recalled that had her hand was propped on the window of the minibus. A truck with a trailer attached at the back was travelling on the road.
“. . . [T]he back of the trailer came up and it hit the bus window where my hand was. I didn’t see anything. I just felt an impact”, she said.
Sophia’s hand was crushed.
“I thought this was something out of a movie. I didn’t think I was a part of it. It was a surreal experience. Like an out-of-body experience. I was not aware of the severity of it,” she said.
A little more relaxed as she got more into the recount of what happened, Sophia said a fellow passenger who was a nurse aid, got a clean towel and covered her injured arm until the ambulance arrived.
She was the only passenger hurt.
Sophia, who was a cashier at Lionel C. Hill supermarket at the time, was rushed to the hospital by ambulance.
After some deliberation by doctors, the decision was made that it would be best to remove Sophia’s limb.
The cut was made above the elbow.
Even though Sophia gave doctors the okay to perform the surgery, she was still in shock. It didn’t register that she would be one limb short.
“I think I was in shock from the time it happened up until that point,” she said.
“I guess even though they told me, it didn’t register with me until it actually happened.”
Sophia remembers waking up in recovery the morning after the surgery to bandages wrapped around what was left of her limb.
“I said to myself, ‘I no longer have a right hand’.”
She spent 11 days in hospital.
While Sophia had the full support of her family, it took some adjusting to the fact that she now only had one hand.
“Of course there are questions like, ‘Where do you go from here? What do you do with your life?”
Sophia never returned to work at Lionel C. Hill.
Recovery was a long process and for the next three years, she was busy at occupational therapy and physiotherapy. Every week too for a time, she had to be visiting the doctor to change her bandages.
Sophia, who is one of three siblings, had to learn to do simple tasks all over again; this time, with her left hand.
From writing to cooking to hooking her bra, all these tasks had to be tackled afresh. It also took a little longer to get dressed.
Adjusting at first was hard, she admitted, especially when it came to doing things that once came naturally.
“You still think you have two hands so if something drops you will go to catch it,” she said, laughing.
“You cannot be frustrated. You have to see it as the new norm for you.”
Sophia has definitely adjusted to just having one hand, but said she still experiences phantom pains.
In fact, she said the “fingers” on her right hand still hurt.
“Sometimes they hurt, but there is nothing you can take for phantom pains. I think automatically your brain registers that you still have that limb. It has been with you for 21 years,” she said.
“At this point I can still feel my fingers even right now,” she said smiling broadly, explaining that the last position they were in before the accident was the position they remained in.
Using her left hand, she curled her well-manicured fingers to show the exact position.
Sophia is a fighter who drew on her inner strength to get her through the years after.
That spirit forced her to learn to drive after she lost her limb. She was determined to sit behind the wheel of the car so she would not have to be dependent on others to get around.
“You have to have inner strength and you have to have a lot of it because being out in society – that is one of the things that had me a bit taken aback.
“Barbadian society is so curious about it all the time, even now. They are really curious. Every time you leave home there is always some one looking, someone staring and watching,” she said.
The emergency dispatcher said when she sees people staring, she simply says ‘hi’, smiles and continues on.
There are some, she said, who have asked questions about how she lost her limb.
She admitted that dealing with the stares was the most difficult part for her.
Sophia is reserved and does not like the spotlight. In fact, that’s one of the reason she had shied away from telling her story publicly.
That has changed and these days she is not as reserved.
“I realised that being in society and having one hand you cannot be like that because you will be left by the wayside.”
Sophia strongly believes that with one hand or two, you have to keep fighting and not give up.
“I have one hand, I have accepted my fate so let me move forward from there,” she said, noting that she doesn’t wear armholes, strappy clothes or long sleeves. In fact, everything she wears must have a short sleeve.
Sophia was also measured for a prosthesis after the accident. She wore it about twice but quickly put it aside explaining that she found it got in her way.
She recalled that it was while being fitted for the prosthesis that someone suggested she applied to be a telephone operator at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital where there was an opening.
She filled out the form, did the required training and was working in the communications department at the hospital for eight years.
Then another opportunity came her way.
As it turned out, the Ambulance Service needed six dispatchers. Sophia applied, completed the course and was successful and has been there since September 12, 2005.
Dispatchers at the Ambulance Service answer all incoming calls to 511, whether it is from a doctors office, a polyclinic or from the general public.
“We prioritise and give pre-arrival instructions until the ambulance arrives,” she explained.
“If there is a situation where someone has difficulty breathing and they stop breathing, we talk them [the caller] through CPR, how to give compressions, keep the heart going until the ambulance arrives. If there is a mass casualty, we will call all the agencies that would respond, we liaise with police, fire, other critical departments.”
She said the dispatchers are trained under the US National Association of Emergency Dispatchers and every two years, they are retrained and recertified.
There is no doubt that Sophia loves her job.
In fact, she believes it is her calling.
“It could be challenging. I say, ‘Sophie you have to be here for a reason’. Maybe this is my calling. Sometimes you may not want to accept it, but this is where you are meant to be so you accept it,” she reasoned.
Some calls trigger memories of her own accident, but she believes in being a professional and tries hard not to get caught up in the moment.
“Sometimes you cannot let it affect your job. You deal with accidents every day and lives lost. Sometimes you have calls where you understand the pain the persons are going through. I am a big believer in the Almighty and I ask him to be a guide for the person,” she added.
Sophia is not treated any differently at work.
In fact, she jokingly said: “Sometimes they treat me like I have three limbs.”
It’s now time for Sophia to start her shift and, as the interview comes to a close, she expressed the hope that her story would make a difference and help to motivate others.
“At this point, I can’t complain about my life. I shouldn’t. Despite having one hand, I am comfortable and happy,” she said, as she made her way to her desk.
