“HE’S REALLY BLACK, but with such a strong build and sweet personality.” This was the opening sentence as I entered a coffee place with one of my Afro-conscious classmates. A group of ladies, whose complexions paled in comparison to ours, was chatting over cappuccinos. As we sat, the speaker of the group continued, “At first I thought that he was too black, but then his charm won me over . . . I’m glad I kept him.”
Reader, you should see the expression on my friend’s face. She shouted at them with with ire in her eyes. “This is why wunnuh should pay we we repatriation money and guh’long with this blasted, classic racial supremacy!”
My friend was loud, bombastic and waved her cup-holding hand in the air, almost as if she would deliberately scald the speaker. Well, I wasn’t this embarrassed in a long time. (The last time I was so shamed was when I was conducting a sales seminar with toilet paper hanging from the back of my pants.)
You see, she was offensive on two points: one, she was minding the people’s business and eavesdropping; and two, she totally took their conversation out of context.
“Ma’am, I am talking about my Labrador; I’ve had yellow Labs before and I now have a black one, whose name is Max. Is that okay with you?”
Well, my friend didn’t apologise. In fact, I was left alone, with the tab and my tea. Why can’t we just all get along, folks?
Anyway, I have much to discuss with you, so moving along . . . .
Karaoke last night at Nikki’s place. A crutch-holding, crotch-grabbing but nonetheless scintillating performance of Frank Sinatra’s My Way. Tell me, why do some singers/performers grab their crotches? I went directly to the source. The crotch-caressing crooner was leaning on his crutches, while having a gin at the bar. He directed me to look at singers, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna and of course, Michael Jackson.
So, here’s the answer from the King of Pop himself. (Yes, I actually researched the rationale for the groin-grip). He said, “You become the emotion of what that song is.” I wondered about My Way and thought that perhaps the only line that could possibly provoke that kind of passion would be, “Regrets, I’ve had a few . . . ?!?”
To grab or not to grab? My personal choice is the latter. Sam Skinner, please share your opinion, along with a song or two, just so we all may verify your view. Since you always seem to be liming around Zen-I Restaurant over there behind Cost-U-Less, why not suggest a karaoke session at that location? I amnsure people like David Ellis (formerly The Mighty Ice-Pick) and Ronnie Clarke (de Announcer) would come over and do a little ditty.
Before I go, mention must be made of the Men’s Fellowship of St Matthew’s Church. Last Saturday they prepared for what was supposed to be a cake sale. Ended up feeding countless homeless people in Bridgetown. What a way to celebrate 185 years!
Veoma Ali is an author, broadcaster, advertising exec and most important, a karaoke lover.