Dear Christine,
I HAVE a problem which I would like you to help me with because it is driving me out of my mind.
My boyfriend is having an affair with another woman. When I first found out about it, I told him it would either have to be me or her, but he told me he loves us both. I do not feel happy about it because I have the feeling that I am the second fiddle.
He gives me anything I ask for; even when I do not ask he gives to me. What hurts me is that he is with her more than he is with me. He goes to her on Sunday and Monday then comes to me on Tuesday. Why? He goes to her on Wednesday and Thursday and then to me on Friday.
I don’t know where I really stand with him, yet he keeps telling me he loves me. He would not leave her out for me, neither would he leave me out for her. I love him with all my heart but I feel like I’ll have to leave him.
I am 35 years old and I do not intend to waste my time with any man.
Is it possible for a man to love two women at one time, or could he be just be using both of us? This thing has been going on now for more than a year and it is getting on my nerves. I feel as though I cannot take it anymore and I’ve made up my mind to let him stop seeing me. – P
Dear P,
You need to do more than that. You need to make up your mind to stop seeing him as well.
I believe if someone is pulling you in a direction which is not good for your own health, you should get them out of your life. It does not matter who they are. I personally know if I cared for someone, I would not want to share myself with another person.
I will not answer the questions you’ve asked in your letter because it would be meaningless based on the fact that you are willing to separate yourself from this man.
I hope you’ll find the strength to go through with your resolution to stop seeing him.
The hurt will eventually go away, especially when you find that someone who places greater value on faithfulness.
– CHRISTINE