Dear Nesta,
Girl, I start out writin’ yuh dis letter in fear an’ trimblin’, ’cause I din know ef de 24th woulda fin’ we still down hey.
From wuh Philomena was preachin’ to me, evuht’ing was suppose to en’ de 21st May 2011, “Judgement Day”. By today, 24th, we shoulda been all gone – some up, ethuhs down, but all gone. So I doin’ a head count today in my area to see ef anybody missin’.
Philomena report dis news from she church. She always dey. Soon as mornin’ brek ’pon a Sunduh, she knockin’ down de church door. But it din always so. Couple years back, she tek sick an’ din able to get out to church fuh ’bout six monfs. Durin’ dah time, aldoh church folk suppose to got nuff love fuh one anethuh, ef she see one o’ dem in dah six monfs, she see a lot. Anyway, it appear duh was real happy to see she back out, but right after de hugs an’ kisses, de very nex’ question was when she would be able to start ’pon de backlog she did owin’ towards de “Roofin” fund. She get vex, never went back, an’ now belongks to dis ethuh church.
I did always look ’pon Philomena as a sensible ’oman, so to come to tell muh dis sorta news, had muh lookin’ at she wid diff’rent eyes. I might not be de mos’ faifful church-goer, but I got a healfy respeck fuh de Creator an’ ’e rules, an’ try to live by dem. Anyway, one t’ing I read an’ believe, no one, not even de angels in heaven, know de hour or time when de Almighty gine return. So I en know why any sensible body woulda believe it was de 21st May 2011.
Philomena was even tellin’ muh somet’ing ’bout a Rapture dat shoulda tek place de same day, when de chosen was gine jes’ disappear in de sky. I t’ought REDjet was gettin’ de job, but it seem duh still out o’ luck. Anyway, I had axe Philomena to fine out befo’ de 21st, ef any o’ she fine church folk had anyt’ing to lef down hey wid muh – car, house, jewel’ry or any’ing else like dat, near an’ dear to duh hearts. Dem woulda been walkin’ ’pon streets pave wid gole an’ wunta been needin’ neffin earfly after dah date. But now de 21st gone, an’ duh still in Ole Buhbayduss an’ not de New Jerusalem, duh got a problem.
While awaitin’ Judgement Day, we had we own local eruptions, when Anglican minister Reverend Morris put Bajans “in a tizzy” by declarin’ dey en nowhey in de Bible sayin’ premarital sex is a sin. Summuch hue an’ cry erup’ sence den, I wonder ef Rev. en “set de cat ’mong de pigeons” fuh purpose, faif. It mek muh remember de Bible story ’bout de ’oman ketch in adultery, when not one body coulda cas’ dah firs’ stone, an’ all jes’ had to drop dem an’ go home.
Mebbee we should now cool down an’ also turn ’way from de Rev. an’ ’e onfortunate words – dat ’e en changin’ anyway – an’ look at somet’ing mo’ impo’tant, like tekkin’ note o’ dah geologis’ words ’bout all dem ondergroun’ caves. Ef we continue dis non-stop strivin’ to rival de New York skyline, at de rate we gine, one day de crumblin’ might start, an’ it really would be de “en o’ de worl” – fuh Buhbayduss.
Tek care o’ yuhself,
Yuh frien’ Babsie
