I AM IN my early 20s and beginning to wonder if I am wasting my life. My reason for this is because I am in love with somebody who seems not to feel as much for me as I do for him.
Why this hurts so much is because he is my first boyfriend, my first lover, best friend, motivator and partner.
I can’t imagine not having him in my life. But more and more in the last three months he seems to be pulling away from me.
He tells me I am being paranoid, but I can’t be if we don’t do the things we used to.
This is what I mean. We used to go to the movies at least twice a month and afterwards we would grab a bite at a fast food restaurant.
But in the last three months we went only once.
His excuse is that things are getting worse in Barbados and we have to save every cent.
Another thing we don’t do as much of is lie together in bed and talk and be intimate. In the last three months we have had sex exactly ten times, whereas previously we did it at least four times a week.
Again, he is telling me nothing is wrong, that it’s just that he is working hard and is tired.
But I don’t believe him.
What I believe is that he is fooling around with a woman at his workplace. She started working there four months ago, and from the time she came he was mesmerized by her.
Why is it that Bajan men like brown-skinned women with long hair? The thing is that she does not even look as good as me as she has fat around her stomach and two big legs. All she has on me is her colour and hair – I am sure that is what caught him.
I have told him what I suspect but he keeps saying I am talking foolishness.
But even though I never had a lot of men, I do know that men would do anything to get another woman, especially if she is supposed to be different.
I would not lie to you, but since this thing started happening I have lost my appetite and I can’t think straight. I lost seven pounds already, and every day I feel weaker and weaker.
Everybody can see how I am pining and wasting away, yet he is still doing his foolishness. He doesn’t seem to realize that I love him and would do anything to get him back.
That is why I am going public:
G, I love you and I want you to come back to me. I would take care of you better than any foreigner can.
Please, come back to me. If you had her, no problem.I just want us to be the way we used to be.
Please come home to me.