Wednesday, April 24, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Filled with hate over circumcision


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Dear Christine,
When I was an infant, my parents abused me through the act of male circumcision.
To those women who would say that my complaint is only about a piece of skin, I ask: if I raped you, could you also dismiss it as just a bit of rough sex?
I was eight years old when I discovered that my penis looked this way. My parents had my foreskin hacked off when I was too young to defend myself.
From that time onward, I have been angry with my parents. Over the years, as I learnt about the sadism, painful savagery and brutality of this abusive procedure, that anger turned to cold hatred.
Some parents erroneously think they can inflict such brutality without retribution, but I became very angry because no one considered that I might have hated the sadistic thing they did to me. No one cared that it might ruin my life.
Resulting from all the above, my emotional problems now include the inability to feel love or affection for anyone. I have a general mistrust of people and debasing feelings of shame at the condition of my genitals. Except for a strong lust and desire for only the most attractive women, I have few emotions.
Since I was dependent on my parents while still at school, I had to conceal my anger. As I got older, I continued to conceal my hatred to ensure inheritance of my parents’ wealth. By their sadism they brought what they are now getting – a lack of grandchildren – on themselves.
Realizing that to succeed in life, I must appear normal, I chose certain people and mimicked their behaviour. Eventually, with the help of a few courses in personal development, I developed an appearance of normalcy, which helped in seducing the women I desired.
Today, my confession to the women I seduced is that because of being arbitrarily circumcised, whenever I expose my mutilated penis to you during sex, the anger and hatred I have for my parents expands over a period of months to include you. The result is that my relationships are all doomed to fail within months.
Dear Angry,
 I can honestly say that you need help. Why are you carrying around so much hatred and resentment? Why are you making others pay for what your parents (both your mother and father, I assume) have done?
Do you think you are the only one who has ever been circumcised? I am sure there are other men who have been circumcised for religious or other reasons, and they do not have such hatred and bitterness in their hearts. If they have, they also need help.
 It seems to me that you have never loved in your entire life and that too is very sad, but you must first be willing to give someone the chance to love you, after of course, you learn to love yourself.
Unless you bring yourself to forgive your parents from your heart, accept your situation and try to enjoy life you are going to continue to bring doom and destruction on yourself.
I wouldn’t want you to leave this world without experiencing true love from the Giver of Life and those around you, but you first have to make that decision to forgive, accept and move on from there.  
Speak to a male counsellor or close friend – if there’s one you can trust – and start living and enjoying the short time you have here on earth.
Right now you need some sunshine in your life and from what you’ve written, there is none. Don’t let this situation ruin you any more.

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