Thursday, April 18, 2024

BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: De t’ings we do fuh money


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Dear Nesta,
Ef yuh try to keep up wid wuh gine on in de worl’ today, sometimes yuh got to stop an’ study ef yuh really hearin’ right or ef yuh need to get yuh head examine.  
Now, we all would ’gree dat sence de recession set in, de majority o’ people  – not only in we part o’ de worl’, but in big-able Amurica an’ Europe an’ wunna English too – ketchin’ duh royal to keep up wid duh daily livin’, an’ Spain is ’mong de countries dat gettin’ hit real hard.
Wid six million now outta wuk an’ a jobless rate at 27.2 per cent, yuh would know dat life ovah dey would got to be tight.
So, in a effort to survive, is only natural dat de majority gine come up wid all manner o’ solutions to put duh han’s ’pon some cash. Hard times does seem to bring out de bes’ as well as de wors’ in we yoomans, an’ de Spaniards en gine be no exception.
While some believe honesty is still de bes’ policy, ’pon de ethuh han’, yuh gine fine de tricksters an’ de scammers right up dey wid dem doin’ duh t’ing.
Well, two men mussee decide de sayin’ “too long hones’, too long poor” don’ suit dem an’ set out to try duh han’ at outsmartin’ de system in wuhevah way duh could. It was strange dat – aldoh not related – dis greedy pair decide to carry out de same type o’ scam ’pon insurance companies.  
De firs’ man tek a electric saw an’ chop off one han’, claimin’ dat he los’ it in a car accident. He went ’roun’ to 11 insurance companies demandin’ compensation o’ two million poun’s. But when de comp’ny doctors examine de woun’, duh say de cut was too clean between de bone fuh a car crash.
As ’e c’n prove ethuhwise, ’e outsmart ’eself an’ en’ up wid neffin – money nor han’. 
De secon’ fella chop off he han’ above de elbow, sayin’ he had a accident wid a electric saw. He try de same insurance trick, by puttin’ in a claim fuh six hundred t’ousand euros, but he too, en’ up widout han’ or money. Insurance investigators could smell a rat a mile off – don’ fool wid dem.
Mebbee wuk hard to come by; but to t’ink dat de times mekkin’ people put duhselves t’rough sech pain an’ agony jes’ to get by, it mek yuh wonder wuh duh gine t’ink up nex’. Mebbee duh gine start juckin’ out duh two eyes?
Anethuh trickster someplace in Austria – anethuh European country – was outta wuk fuh a long time an’ was so accustom to de sweet life – gettin’ han’-outs widout drivin’ a stroke – dat when he realize it would en’ as de Job Centre finally had a job fuh ’e, he decide to cut off ’e foot wid a saw an’ bake it in a oven so de doctors wunta been able to sew it back on.  
He preffer to disfigure ’eself dan tek up a job. Anyhow, de centre had no sympat’y ’cause ’e loss a leg an’ insis’ he would still be able to wuk despite de amputation, so ’e had a choice. Hop to wuk ’pon one leg – or starve. 
Insurance scams ole as de hills an’ dishones’ folk always tryin’ dem out. As far as I know, two regulah ones is de jewel’ry scam an’ burnin’ down buildin’s. But to go as far as to start deliberately cuttin’ off one o’ yuh limbs is anethuh story.
Gettin’ jobs nowadays en easy, so life hard fuh mos’, but we shun fuhget dat de love o’ money is still de root o’ all evil – dah law en change.
Tek care o’ yuhself.
Yuh frien’, Babsie


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